Thursday, August 08, 2002


Well, since I've gotten on the subject of weird things kids do, I've been doing this mini-inventory of my childhood. Seems I did a lot of weird and semi-weird food sculpting. It was a wonder I thrived when I was young as I didn't eat much. The only time I was hungry was after I had been swimming all day at Grandview Pool.

If I wasn't hungry, I sculpted.

Certain foods are great for mashed potatoes, white bread, cheese or jello, to name just a few. White bread can be picked at, forming holes (portals) and rolling the bread to form cannon balls, rocks, tree trunks and the like. Mashed potatoes can be fashioned into contemporary housing, castles, volcanos (gravy is a nice addition) and the like. Cheese, especially Swiss, can form lunar surfaces, asteroids, meteorites and contemporary housing. Jello? Use your imagination.

Kids come equipped with bizarre imagination. I was no exception.

I sculpted whole villages out of my food. My food couldn't touch except in these instances when I wasn't planning on eating anyway. Broccoli became exotic jungles of foliage surrounding hidden potato villas and jello huts. Bread people lounged about the village and plotted revenge on the cheese droids. I became engrossed in complicated scripts involving my food and plots to overtake the silverware clan.

Usually, my parents or my grandmother came along and removed my whole set, actors, actresses and wardrobe alike, dumping them time after time into the garbage bag in the kitchen. When they weren't pissed, I got desert. Ice cream was the best.

Ice cream shapes well.



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