Friday, February 28, 2003

Missing Deep Purple...

Don't ask me why I'm telling this story. I have just come out of a cough syrup, NyQuil, Zithromax, Tylenol haze and for some reason this story crossed my mind so I thought I'd blog it.

Back in my lazy, hazy hippy days of the early seventies, I was dating a pretty thing named Liza, the cousin of my good friend Jeff. I was crazy about this girl and wanted to impress her something awful so I bought two tickets to the Deep Purple concert at the coliseum in El Paso, Texas. The coliseum isn't in the greatest neighborhood in El Paso you see, so we arrived early so I could park in a half decent spot under some bright street lights. You can also add insurance by paying some local kids a few dollars to "watch" your car, which never happens but somehow your property does gain some respect.

We were seated in the concert hall and already the place was packed with freaks. The air was cloudy with smoke and even the cops at the entrances were red-eyed. Suddenly the lights dimmed and the opening band came out. The guy sitting next to me nudged me and passed me a small pipe, which I took a generous hit off of and handed to Liza.

The rest is pretty simple...

The opening band was great. Hell, after the hit off that pipe, EVERYTHING was great. The opening band got done, they turned on the lights in the coliseum, and I grabbed Liza's hand and we left. Outside we giggled, thinking we had the jump on everybody and would avoid the rush from the parking lots. We found my Volkswagen undisturbed, fired it up and off we went.

Normally, that drive would have taken about forty-five minutes or so. This time it took me nearly two hours to get home, I was so stoned.

It was Liza who figured out we were home awful early and eventually we figured out that we missed Deep Purple. Several of my buddies saw me at that concert and watched me leave.

I never lived that one down.

Hell, who knows.....maybe, "Some stupid with a hash pipe burned the place to the ground."


Friday, February 21, 2003

They come.....

They go.....

and some come back!

Welcome back Potkettleblack-Potkettleblog! So glad to see you back Mark! I was so sad to see you go and missed you terribly! Check out Marks site if you get a chance folks, he's a one-of-a-kind blogger for sure.

Sad to say goodbye to Jessie of "Just Bite Me" fame......her posts were slowly petering out. Hope everything is okay with you Jessie.

I get sick at least once a year and when I do, I do it up right. This one hit me Monday night and it's still hanging in there strong this Friday morning. I've always had a tendency towards pneumonia so things settle right in my chest. But, as lousy as I feel, the show must go on.....

Wanda's picking my up this afternoon and we're heading down to her place for the evening and on to the Maine coast on Saturday to visit with her brother Ronnie. I'm looking forward to meeting her brother as I've heard so much about him but I just wish I didn't feel like dog poo warmed over. Wanda mentioned that we'll be staying in a private cabin on the ocean with a Jacuzzi. Damn. Life just gets rougher and rougher..... Heh, heh....

Succumbing to a cold always reminds me of just how human I am. I think that sometimes I get that attitude like I can tackle anything and then WHAM! A virus comes along that makes me weak as a kitten. I haven't heard from Annie lately as she must be busy with work after the Chinese New Year festivities. She has some really noxious Chinese remedy recipes that will grow hair on your back. Sasha, my little pal in Taipei has come to the rescue instead and sent me a sure cure recipe to aid my aching bones.

Ginger Black Sugar soup and Ginger Chicken soup.

I can't seem to find the Black Sugar as there aren't any Chinese pharmacies handy in this neck of the woods, but I'm gonna attempt the Ginger Chicken soup today. I've stocked up on juices, have my bottle of NyQuil and my cough syrups, throat lozenges and Tylenol....but what is sure to do the trick is Wanda rubbing Vicks on my chest tonight.

Just like mom used to.

I remember when I was a kid and I'd get sick. Mom would always tuck me into the bed, rub my chest with Vicks Vaporub and then she'd ask what I wanted from the store. She'd always get me puzzle books, comic books, and other soothing things that somehow always made the illness seem less aggravating. Of course not having to go to school was a treat in-and-of-itself.

Nowadays, living alone and independent, I can't just stay in bed. Nobody here to do it for me, so I've got to climb out of bed and do it all. That sucks. Especially shoveling snow. Sick, snot running out my damn nose, achy all over and shoveling freaking snow. Another snow storm is on its way I hear, due in sometime Saturday. Guess I'll just raise my glass of juice in a defiant salute from the Jacuzzi and watch it snow!!!

NyQuiland Haze


This stuff ought to be illegal...

It's that time again, flu season. I held out as long as I could but misery won over and I found myself coursing down the massive isle at Rite Aid, confused with the myriad of colorfully labeled cures lining the shelves, promising immediate, if not sooner, relief from my pounding headache, achy feeling, running nose, sore throat and nagging cough.

Have you ever spent any real time looking these things over? Tons of them. Powders you dissolve in warm water, pills you swallow, liquids you drink, liquid capsules, sprays, syrups, lozenges, tabs, caps, extra-strength, extended release, double action, TM, DM, PM, AM....holy crap!

So I reached for the MOTHER of all CURES.


The mother of all cures....yessiree! I'm sitting here, nose running, waiting for the NyQuil® to take effect and I decide to do a Google search of this fine liquid of the Gods...and what do I find, but a discussion board, called RateItAll - The Opinion Network with the subject NyQuil®. Some guy with a handle of "dragonShroom" (now that was a dead giveaway) writes this:

"Nyquil is the Greatest Pill known to man ... well besides merniol but thats another story ... If I wanna sleep, I take like 6 or 7 Nyquil and I am Out for a few days. This stuff really messes u up I love it ... I take it everynight!!!!"

dragonShroom....yeah, I think I partied with that dude once.

You know.....HTML needs to be more FORGIVING.

I just spent a half hour trying to figure out why my "comments" section had disappeared and since my wonderful SIS is so good at standing by the wayside watching me get into trouble for something SHE had a hand in doing, I was going to be DAMNED before I'd ask her to help me out of another HTML jamb. (jus kiddin' Shirly-Wirly)

Anyway, it seems something just "attached" itself to my Haloscan code and was causing the problem. Certainly nothing "I" had! Definitely a cyber-phenomenon with UFO qualities to it. Well anyway, I managed to fix the problem and now my comment section is back, but the blog is once again S-T-R-E-T-C-H-E-D out across the screen.....

DAMN! (Get the soap Chris)

A half hour later, I find the culprit.....I left an " > " out of the code.

One little " > !!!"

Somebody should devise some little alarm system for HTML coders. Leave out a backslash, forget to close a quote, leave out a " > " and *** BRRRRRRING!!!!!! ***

Sounds like a simple challenge for meg....gotta give that woman something to do, otherwise she's out getting into trouble on comment boards!


Friday, February 14, 2003

Happy Valentines Day Everyone!

Nobody gave me a HAM......


What's a guy to do? *wink*

private joke


Friday, February 07, 2003

I have a new profession...

I've decided to cash in on the new enhancement craze these women are hollerin' about lately.

You know what I mean. They want everything enhanced, tucked, curled, pierced, removed, shortened, enlarged, shaped, and the list goes on. Plastic surgeons never had it so good. Well, us guys are no different with our tattoos and piercings and with the increased cost of all this stuff, so many are turning to DO-IT-YOURSELF jobs to save a buck or two.

Hell, we did it as kids....wrapped the needle with thread, heated it and used India Ink to make an indelible tattoo. Now the kids are grabbing their safety pins and piercing themselves.

So I got this idea!

First off, I got a plain old air pump....

Then, I got some hose....

A couple of adaptors....

A sterile hypodermic needle....

And went to work.

All in all, except for a few minor glitches, I finally became fairly successful. Now, for a nominal fee, I'm making a lot of women very happy and the proceedure is so, so simple! No surgical suites, very little blood, hardly any pain after the first few injections.....and after a few weeks the initial bruising goes away. So, tell your friends and send the little lady my way.....

The proof is in the pudding.....

See below for one of my satisfied customers....


Saturday, February 01, 2003

I have shocking news for everyone....

I am going to clean my house today.

Yes, it's true. Even the catbox. I have guests coming over this evening who do not understand the finer points of filth.

Life is full of surprises....

Gung Hey Fat Choy!

Or, as they say in English.....


For my own person greeting to all of you, my friends, my fellow bloggers, or just the insanely curious, CLICK HERE for my colorful little Gung Hey Fat Choy message and (if you use Internet Explorer) a little annoying musical jingle to go with it.

May you all reap prosperity and happiness in the year of the Black Sheep!

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