Sunday, June 16, 2002


This is the stuff that made my daddy happy.

This is the stuff that made me sad.

Me and dear old mommy used to play a game....

Find the bottle.

My daddy was good at hiding these. He had all different sizes of them.

We never found them all.

Once, when I was seventeen, I found one between the fence and the neighbors garage...almost a year and a half after this stuff killed my dear old dad.....and I drank it.

Rest in peace dude....

Dear Daddy,

Hi there Andy! (All my dads friends called him that) It's been a while hasn't it? Last I remember, I was at your funeral at the Fort Bliss Cemetery, listening to the twenty-one gun salute. I was a pretty mixed up kid then dad. I didn't know what to think. I figured I was supposed to be sad; that I was supposed to cry, but I just couldn't. You know why? Cause you weren't a big part of my life.

After you kicked the bucket I got to fly to Dallas and stay with your sister's and your brother. I got to see the whole damn family. I was a real freak back then, with hair down to my ass and an attitude to match. Your sister, aunt sis, and uncle Wayland didn't even recognize me. I stayed with aunt sis for a few days and got to drive her car even though mommy had told her not to lend it to me. I drove out on Harry Hines boulevard and lost my first ten dollars gambling on a game of eight ball, shooting pool with a black guy who hustled me. I was following in your footsteps pretty good eh? I never was as good as you, shooting pool.

The second day I was with aunt sis, Jan called me. Remember Jan? Your first son Gene's daughter, my half niece? Well, she had heard from Becky, Wayland's daughter, that I was a freak and she asked me out to party. Aunt sis said that mommy had told her previous to my flying to Dallas, not to allow me to meet that side of the family. I couldn't imagine why back then, but BOY do I know now!

Jan and I went to Joy's bar in Red Oak, The Pink Pussycat. You know Joy, Gene's wife, my half sister-in-law, Jan's mom. Well, let me tell you dad, she is some UGLY!! That was a bad part of town too. I shot pool and talked with Joy. That night someone got shot at in the parking lot, a fight broke out and a white woman tried to commit suicide by sniffing the gas from the hot water heater. I didn't stay long. Later, I went to Joy's place in Red Oak and we partied some more. We got drunk, smoked a fatty and snorted some meth crystal.

We were pretty high but Joy and Jan decided to tell me who my real mother was. That sobered me up pretty good dad. I never knew that you had screwed the maid and that you were my real father. Funny, remember how everybody who thought I was your adopted son made comments about how much I looked like you? I was kinda pissed that you and mom always lied to me about what the real story was. I'm okay with it now though and I forgive you dad. I never said anything to mom. Jan and Joy made me promise I wouldn't. They said it would kill mom. I think she would have just denied it.

Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that. I didn't want you to always wonder if I would find out or not. Funny isn't it? Funny how your son Gene's wife and his first daughter ended up telling me. Jesus that's weird. Oh well. Oh, just one more thing dad....I know you'll be proud....

I got sober and clean when I was thirty-eight. Mostly had to, cause I was standing in a courtroom facing a federal prison sentence. I was a little bit wilder than you were. So now I'm a drug and alcohol counselor at the local prison. Told you you'd be proud! Haven't had a drink or done any drugs in almost nine years now. I've been traveling too! You and mom always talked about Asia and Australia and I ended up catching the traveling bug. Oh, and I joined the service too. Got out in 1983. Sorry dad, but I joined the Navy. I know, I know.....well, the damn Army wouldn't give me what I wanted. Sorry about that.

Hey, I gotta go. I'm really not pissed anymore that you wasted your life away on that bar stool. You were carrying a pretty big secret. I learned from you though, dad. I learned to live an honest life and to not keep secrets that will eat you alive. So, as crazy as it might seem, I thank you for destroying your life and teaching me a lesson in the process. Sometimes we learn best from other peoples, and our own, mistakes.

See ya dad....

And Happy Daddies Day!



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