This is my fake International Driver's License.  I made it over a two month period, using only Internet searches, Photoshop and images I had on my computer.

I had the opportunity to use it yesterday, while on my way into Ban Phrue to purchase some medication.  

Usually, when I travel into Ban Phrue, I never see a Thai cop or a road block, so I suppose I've become lax.  This time I was just passing their local mosque on the main route 4 and not paying attention, was startled when a Thai cop suddenly stepped out into the traffic and hailed me over.  

It was too late for me to play my innocent game of "speed up, zip into the far right fast lane passing the road block and pretend I never saw him," so I pulled over to the Thai cops incessant, moronic, pointing at me and yelling, "You!  You!"

He approached me like the asshole authority figure he was and loudly barked at me in Thai, which was no surprise, since very, very few Thai cops know any English.  

I knew what he was asking for though...so with my hands shaking a bit, I reached for my wallet...thankful I had my fake International Driver's license I'd Photoshopped in there, but still worried something would go wrong.  

I tried everything I could to disguise the fact my hands were shaking...I was desperate...I couldn't afford to have my motorcycle impounded or end up in jail.  So, I did my best to act nonchalant like this sort of thing happened to me every day.  


I'm pretty sure I botched that part.  


The Thai cop snatched my wallet from me, not allowing me to take the ID out, the typical response of a Thai person in authority when dealing with a "Farang" or foreigner...and peered at every card, piece of paper and picture I had in there.  Obviously more interested in the money compartment than the rest of the wallet.

Suddenly he looked over my open wallet and blurted out a string of Thai.  I knew he was asking me "Where's the money?"  


"Mai Mee," I replied, meaning "I don't have any..." to which his face dropped and he looked up at me with a frown and said, "Auck Bai!" or "Get out of here!" and I didn't waste time leaving.  


Typically, the guy wanted a bribe...but knew I didn't have money from my empty wallet...(My money was in the side pocket of my shorts).  


The guy never checked my motorcycle registration...my next Photoshop project.


-Jeeem-

And yet another snake in the house...

This one, as you can see, is rather large also.  I'm guessing about five feet long.  It's a cobra, although I'm not exactly sure what species.  

I raised a bit of a ruckus and it's hood expanded, although it never really straightened out and eventually disappeared into the crack you see, under the stone step.  I was a bit unnerved about this, since I had no way of knowing if it was gone from the house or not...will just have to wait and see.  

Boo Boo and Puppy are awful curious and have been downstairs scouting the area, so if it comes back out, I'll know.  Meanwhile the monsoon-like rains continue to come in the late afternoon. 


-Jeeem-

Another snake in my cottage...

I was washing my dishes in my kitchen and placed some dirty ones in the wash water to soak.  I then went to my kitchen table to work on my Sodoku puzzles while the dishes were soaking, when suddenly Puppy started whimpering.  Usually I ignore him but this time there was a certain tone to his whimpering that caught my attention and as I began to turn around to see what he was whimpering at, he suddenly started barking incessantly, looking directly under the bench where I kept my wash basin.  

By now, after at least four years living here, I know that's a sign I've got a visitor and I immediately tensed up.  I peered under the bench where I keep my rice bucket and some odd pots and pans and immediately saw a snake's face hoovering there, watching Puppy and I... 

This isn't just one of Jeeem's typical snake postings though...this son-uv-a-gun was a good six to seven feet long...closer to seven.

I've got most of the "snake eviction" on video but for the last week I've been online hassling with the Canon Support techs, as I can't seem to get my pictures off my camera.  But, as soon as I do I'll post the video for you.  I might have to dump some of my previous shots taken in Georgetown, Penang, Malaysia during my last visa run, as I've found in the past that if the memory card is full, I can't upload photos until I take a few off...and that video surely filled things up fast. 


Puppy was a pain in my ass during the whole event, as I'd have the snake almost to the door and Puppy would come in and lunge at it, forcing it back inside...but eventually I managed to keep Puppy back and usher the snake outdoors.  As I poked and prodded with my trusty mop handle, brave little Boo Boo was sitting up on the stairs watching everyone.  Oh, and Chok?  Ha!  Nowhere to be seen.  Chok got one glimpse at the size of that thing and she was GONE. 

Besides the reticulated python that I posted about previously, which I found up the road in the village, this is undoubtedly the largest snake that's been inside my cottage to date.  I've been searching online for days, for a picture and name of the snake as well as a picture of a new bird I saw the other morning out on the Mangosteen tree just outside my upstairs window, but, I'm having better luck with the bird...a Chestnut winged Cuckoo, I think.


The snake had a large neck in proportion to the rest of its body, and two small projections on its lower jaw behind its mouth...almost like little gills..like on a mud puppy or salamander.  Weird.  Not sure if the thing was poisonous or not but I surely wasn't taking any chances.  Easily six feet and most likely six and a half from the tip of its nose to the end of its tail.  A good three inches in diameter too.  

Scary.  


I had the chance to smash it several times, but I've given that up...I figure Karma will kick me right in my ass for that.  Besides, the thing was just looking for a cool place to hang out and I've come to the conclusion finally, that I've got to learn to co-exist with these visitors of mine in a more friendly manner.  Lately, although it's the hot, dry season, we've had almost monsoon-like rains here, which I've read have been worse in the deep south of Pattani, Yala and Narathiwat.  Severe flooding there.  The Tong river up the road did flood last week, but then it really doesn't take much for that river to reach flood stage.  


As a consequence I've found a dozen or so scorpions in the bathroom, as well as a couple centipedes...but have wondered where my bathroom frogs went???  

After my snake eviction, I figured the mystery out.  


-Jeeem-

I was surfin' Stumbleupon.com again and came across this video on a site claiming this technology is something "New and Different," offered up by the Smack Nightclub on Tavistock St., Leamington Spa, Warwickshire, England. 

Well, I beg to differ. 

While teaching and living in Guangzhou, Guangdong, People's Republic of China back in 2003, a handful of friends and I used to jump on the bus and head over to Xintang, a dirty little town that turns into one hell of a party at night.  One of the dance clubs we went to had the same lights, all over the ceiling, walls and floor and an awesome DJ just about every night spinning Dubstep, Trance, House, Hard House and IDM music until the wee hours of the night.  In fact, three more dance clubs we hit while I was living there, all had the same setup.  So, it's definitely not an exclusive to England. 

The music in those clubs was so loud you could feel the music!  Dancing on the dance floor was an experience I can't explain here...you'd just have to experience it yourself.  Many a night I got lost in myself, dancing and writhing to those awesome beats. 

The awesome song on this video, by-the-way, is Rusko's "Hold On..." one I've had in my files and on my Mp3 player for quite a while.  If ya get a chance, head on over to YouTube and do a search for Rusko's stuff...it's definitely worth the trip.

-Jeeem-

If ya haven't figured it out yet....

You're supposed to shoot the damn duck!

More senseless entertainment by...

-Jeeem-

Without a doubt, the Scottish accent is one of the most interesting and captivating.  I've found that it tends to be regional also, depending on where the person is from.  Some accents are definitely harder to understand than others.  

About three years ago I stopped at a small cafe in Hat Yai for some breakfast and grabbed a seat right next to the sidewalk.  While waiting for my meal a guy stopped by and sat down at one of the tables out on the sidewalk right in front of me...he was a foreigner so after a bit I decided to strike up a conversation.  

I said hello and asked him where he was from.  I wasn't prepared for the answer.  

Quite honestly I don't know what the hell he said to me in return, even to this day...and embarrassingly enough, I had to ask him several times to repeat himself, his accent was that thick.  But, to compound matters he was a stutterer.  A Scottish stutterer...who taught English at a local school in Hat Yai.  Now that, is one hell of a deal.  

I haven't seen him in a while as I don't really get into Hat Yai all that often now, but I recently saw this video clip online and thought I'd add it as sort of a memorial to all my Scottish buddies.  Make sure you let the thing fully load before watching it. 

Hope you enjoy it.  

Aye there Peter...if you're watching, that'll be five quid!

-Jeeem-

If you take a look at my Cool Column to the right, you'll see a new entry for "AWESOME PICTURES!" A depository of sorts for photos I find in my stumbles around the Internet.  

Hope you enjoy it!

-Jeeem-

Sometimes you see something that just gives you the shivers and brings up enough emotion that it brings a tear to your eye.  It doesn't have to be anything sad or heartwarming...the video you're about to see isn't any of that.  

It's just a bunch of fairly talented young people having fun on a playground and believe me...there's surely a great deal of talent in this video.  

For me, I suppose it was a mixture of amazement and most likely the music, which is a tune that I've always liked...but this brought out a lot of emotion in me and I found I was rather disappointed the video was so short.

They all just seem to be having so much fun with it!  Every single one of the jumpers added so much to this video...

...From the two chubby gals to the guy who somersaults into the middle and then the blond who just sorta runs through...

...Then, if you pay attention to the left side of your screen, there's an elderly lady sitting there that the blond sorta gives a quick gesture to...who promptly gets up and moves after the guy on the bike comes through.  

Ha...it's like she's saying, "Well, if they're gonna start driving bicycles through there, I'm outta here!"  

Just awesome!

Hope you enjoyed it!

-Jeeem-

BANANA

FLASHER

I can't remember exactly when...but it was maybe six or eight months after Facebook hit the big time that I read a well-written piece online warning people against joining up with it.  

The article was very informative and was good enough for me at the time to convince me never to have anything to do with Facebook and I haven't.  I've never joined up with Facebook or MySpace, since both social community sites were mentioned in the article.

Here are a couple links you might want to peruse that explain the reasons why.  

LINK 1  

LINK 2

LINK 3


Okay, so more than a couple...but, it shouldn't take more than three links to websites explaining the dangers of Facebook, to convince you.  


The thing that amazes me is some people think they can't get along without Facebook.  Granted, most of those people are most likely more social animals than I am, but still...aren't you just a little concerned about what is done with all that sensitive data of yours?

Think about it...and QUIT FACEBOOK!


-Jeeem-