Thursday, April 21, 2011

This is my fake International Driver's License.  I made it over a two month period, using only Internet searches, Photoshop and images I had on my computer.

I had the opportunity to use it yesterday, while on my way into Ban Phrue to purchase some medication.  

Usually, when I travel into Ban Phrue, I never see a Thai cop or a road block, so I suppose I've become lax.  This time I was just passing their local mosque on the main route 4 and not paying attention, was startled when a Thai cop suddenly stepped out into the traffic and hailed me over.  

It was too late for me to play my innocent game of "speed up, zip into the far right fast lane passing the road block and pretend I never saw him," so I pulled over to the Thai cops incessant, moronic, pointing at me and yelling, "You!  You!"

He approached me like the asshole authority figure he was and loudly barked at me in Thai, which was no surprise, since very, very few Thai cops know any English.  

I knew what he was asking for with my hands shaking a bit, I reached for my wallet...thankful I had my fake International Driver's license I'd Photoshopped in there, but still worried something would go wrong.  

I tried everything I could to disguise the fact my hands were shaking...I was desperate...I couldn't afford to have my motorcycle impounded or end up in jail.  So, I did my best to act nonchalant like this sort of thing happened to me every day.  

I'm pretty sure I botched that part.  

The Thai cop snatched my wallet from me, not allowing me to take the ID out, the typical response of a Thai person in authority when dealing with a "Farang" or foreigner...and peered at every card, piece of paper and picture I had in there.  Obviously more interested in the money compartment than the rest of the wallet.

Suddenly he looked over my open wallet and blurted out a string of Thai.  I knew he was asking me "Where's the money?"  

"Mai Mee," I replied, meaning "I don't have any..." to which his face dropped and he looked up at me with a frown and said, "Auck Bai!" or "Get out of here!" and I didn't waste time leaving.  

Typically, the guy wanted a bribe...but knew I didn't have money from my empty wallet...(My money was in the side pocket of my shorts).  

The guy never checked my motorcycle next Photoshop project.



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