Thursday, May 08, 2003

My house finally sold!

I will be closing the deal tomorrow at 2:15 p.m. and will walk away with enough money to pay off all my bills and still have some mad money to play with. I've decided to consolidate and have already begun to sell off most of my possessions leaving only what I can pack in a few suitcases or ship to where ever it is I am going, as the remainder of my life will be devoted to traveling the world and experiencing different cultures. Dragging around a bunch of crap or having to store my stuff just wouldn't work out.

Today is a blustery, rainy and cold day. A good day to head out to the library and do some research on my college paper, which will be entitled, "Living Outside the Box - A Lesson in Social Deviance." I'm adjusting well to my move and finally getting settled in and comfortable. My future plans are still intact and in answer to many peoples questions, here is the latest....

I will be choosing a TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) course either in the states or abroad, within the next two months and as soon as my last class in college is over with, I plan to sign up for a TEFL course, fly out to attend it and pick up my TEFL certificate before August rolls around. Then, I'll have another look-see at the China situation. SAR's has most assuredly dampened my plans a bit but I do not suspect it will be around forever so I still plan on heading to China in September if not late August.

I will be selling my truck in July because I won't need it anymore and it is a rather expensive monthly payment for the luxury of having a four-wheel drive truck and hopefully, the rest of my life, I'll be in the position to never have to drive again and will just shift to public transportation. I will be obtaining an international drivers license though, just in case.

News flash!

.....Wanda has sent for her passport and will be receiving it soon in the mail! There's no turning back now, as we both plan to travel and teach together once the kids are grown. I still laugh when I think about my perfect partner being right under my nose all these years without me even knowing it. I think everybody ought to be friends with their mate first, prior to engaging in a more serious relationship, although ours was NOT a planned thing by any means.

I recently received an e-mail from my childhood friend Debbie, who now lives in the tornado devastated western part of Missouri but is miraculously okay. Deb told me she envied me my freedom and doing what I want to do in life. She is a good pal and I've known her since third grade. Deb is embroiled in an abusive marriage, on many levels, and I used to fight with her about it telling her to get out and to focus on being happy. I don't do that anymore because although she listens, she still remains in that relationship. This thought got me going on some of my theories again....

Although many of my good friends and acquaintances tell me they envy me in what I'm doing, there are an equal amount of people I know who think I'm nuts. Thus, the reason for my research paper on "Living Outside the Box - A Lesson in Social Deviance." You see, no matter what you do in life and no matter how you come by it, somebody will agree with you, somebody will envy you, somebody will disagree with you and somebody will think you are nuts.

I am not entirely taking credit for fulfilling some sort of life's dream. My life has taken me in many different directions and only ten years ago, the path I had chosen was taking me to sure destruction. William James was a determinist thinker, postulating that everything was in the big plan and no matter what you do, say or think, it was meant to be.....predetermined.

I don't believe that. I think that what you do, say and think is what determines where your big plan takes you. There has been many times I've made a decision and thought to myself, "Wow, was that ever stupid," but the direct result of that "stupid" decision had a major impact on something else that happened in my life at a later date. Sometimes that major impact was good and sometimes it was bad, but it always taught me something. I think everything is somehow interconnected.

So, in remembering that, I've gotten off my soapbox with Deb and although it's hard to see her go through the unhappiness and fear she is putting herself through, I have to just be a friend and support her decision, even if her decision is to do nothing. Nothing, in-and-of-itself, is a decision. Perhaps there is a reason for it all and perhaps it will bring her to a better place eventually. It's not about how quickly you get there, it's about getting there. If she never gets there, well.....I guess I need to still just support her like a friend should and never try and force my expectations on her.

So, my decision to free myself up from material pleasures, choose a life of travel on a shoestring and immersion in foreign culture may lead to my death but then something is going to lead me there eventually and when my time comes up, I'd rather be DOING what I love rather than just TALKING about it.



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