Tuesday, January 28, 2003

Well, that was quicker than I suspected.

Got the call today.......another damn rejection. Should I say the LAST damn rejection as I won't be pursuing a nursing career any longer. Someone asked me today, "Are there any other options?" to which I responded, "Yes, there are," but there comes a point when you have to ask yourself if it's worth losing your house, biting your pride, stretching a dollar so you can buy toilet paper and rationing petrol so you can get to where you absolutely have to go? Maybe for some, but NOT for me.

Color me PRIDEFUL.

I'm gonna have to chalk this up to one of the most difficult things I've ever done in my life. The toughest part, for me, was retaining my pride and remaining humble in the face of patronization. The irony here, is the fact that I am currently studying the concept of self-monitoring in the context of interpersonal communications. It seems I am a "Low self-monitor," described as being unconcerned with the image I present, communicating my thoughts and feelings openly, without trying to manipulate the impressions they may create.

Short for, "Don't give a damn."

"Things could be worse." That all-to-familiar phrase......but lately and quite by accident I have been studying the history of Cambodia in my recreational time. The Zero Years of Pol Pot time and the terrible genocide which occurred prior to the present Prime Minister Hun Sen and his sidekick Head of State, King Norodom Sihanouk.

Or is that the other way around?

Well anyway, there is always a worse-case scenario somewhere in the world that helps ground me and keep me humble during times when I want to scream like a little spoiled American. I'll hit the streets soon and find something out there that will allow me to make a buck or two. This country has it's benefits, that is for sure. The opportunities are out there for the person willing to pursue them. The one I was recently pursuing; however, just wasn't meant to be.



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