The old: “God I’m bored, but I still wanna post something” hoopla…

• Do not eat natural foods. I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
• When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
• The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
• Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
• There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead (this is REALLY true in southeast Asia).
• Life is sexually transmitted.
• An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
• If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool who said, "Quit while you're ahead?"
• Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
• The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
• Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for months.
• Some people are like Slinkies: not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
• Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
• Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder, no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
• All of us could take a lesson from the weather: It pays no attention to criticism.
• Why does a slight tax increase cost you $2500 while a substantial tax cut saves you $25?
• In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
• How is it one careless match can start a forest fire but it takes the whole box to start a campfire?

[Thanks to Deb, aka: Midnight lace]

-Jeeem-

Malacca...The Damn Truth!

This photo of the famous Strait was taken from high atop the old fort in Malacca, during my visit to Malaysia in May.

A little history:

The Strait of Malacca is perhaps the most important sea route in the world, carrying over 50,000 vessels per year through this narrow passage that form the main passageway between the Indian and Pacific oceans.

Okay....enough history. Here's the deal...I've got this thing about swimming (or at least setting foot) in the major waters of the world. To my credit, I've swam or set foot in the Philippine Sea, Andaman ocean, South China sea, Pacific, Atlantic and the Gulf of Mexico. So, it makes sense that being so close to such a famous body of water as the Straits of Malacca.....

Yep, I just had to do it.

Only problem was...dragging poor Annie into my little scheme.

Like a trooper, she went along with my idea, holding my camera in hand, poised on high (and dry) land.

More to follow.....

-Jeeem-

Posted by Hello

See that? That's me way out there, knee deep in the Straits of Malacca!

Yep, I did it! Heh, heh....I REALLY did it!

By "Really" I mean I was S-T-U-C-K in the mud.

Minutes after Annie so graciously snapped this picture, I became stuck even worse....hip deep. Finally, after my pleading, Annie came to rescue me and ended up falling in the mud herself. Eventually some Portuguese restaurant owners ended up rescuing the "Stupid White Guy."

Annie and I lived to tell about it (although I think her version is less comical) and the two of us spent the rest of the afternoon hosing the mud off ourselves.
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This is me and "Big Ben" one of the Portuguese guys who lent a hand to rescue the "Stupid White Guy." Ben made a good point, saying I was lucky they were nearby, as the tide was coming in rapidly.
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This is my pal. His name is Mr. Soamboon Chlomusig. He speaks some pretty good English and operates one of the local stores here in our village, with his wife Wontip and daughter Watsanan.
-Jeeem-
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This is a picture of me and some of the local kids in my neighborhood. A good number of the kids around here are my students.
-Jeeem-
Posted by Hello

Just a couple of noteworthy items:

First off, I am still sick. Ended up in the hospital last week and was finally seen by a doctor at Bangkok/Hatyai hospital, who said I had a severe case of bronchitis. The good news is: I don't have pneumonia. The bad news is: It's a virus and can only be treated symptomatically. So, I'm at home resting and trying to ride out this nasty illness that has plagued me for the past month and a half.

Secondly, although I have been able to log-on to the internet a few times and have successfully done a trial-run of the awesome "Hello" program by Picasa, my laptop is sh*tting the bed on me and I'll eventually have to take it in for repair or replacement (like I've got the money for that). I'm getting a continual "Operating System Not Found" on power-up, which I believe is a fan error.

So, if you don't see any posts from me for awhile again, that is the reason.

The nearest Dell repair station is in Penang, Malaysia....so I won't be taking it there. I'm hoping to find a local repair shop who knows how to work on Dell laptops and won't end up costing me an arm and a leg.

"When it rains, it pours...."

-Jeeem-

One of my ever-present pets
Posted by Hello

Recent internet news headline on Yahoo:


"FLORIDA TOURISM SUFFERS AFTER HURRICANES..."


Well "Duh!"

-Jeeem-

I'm BAAAAAAAcK!

Jeeez....That was a pretty long absence huh? Well, sorry for that but I just couldn't tolerate that internet cafe in town anymore and had to wait until I had a phoneline installed in the house, which in itself ended up becoming a major production. But, now it's installed and I'm buying up "Internet Cards" at the local 7-11 for $178 Thai baht apiece - giving 12 hours of internet usage a whack.

Life here in Thunglung is quiet to say the least. This village is small and relatively calm. But there are always the little surprises....

Yesterday, after a long day teaching at the school, I was walking on my usual route home when I spotted an elephant in the road. Not a very tough item to spot I must say, since despite this guy's size, he was drawing quite the crowd. I wormed my way through the crowd of mostly Thai students dressed in uniform and heading home, to get a closer look at this massive beast.

Once I was close, a tall, dark and thin Thai guy approached me, speaking rather good English, and saying, "You want to buy some banana stalk to feed him?"

Elephants have quite literally always been my thing and one of the things I've always dreamt of doing in life is riding one. Well, I didn't get to ride this fellow, but I quickly shelled out the $20 baht for a small bag of banana stalk and started approaching this massive creature.

I had hardly gotten the banana stalk out of the bag when a very big, rather firm elephant snout began worming it's way towards me. The old boy (yes, BELIEVE me, it was a BOY) was rather persistent and didn't seem to have the patience for me to wrestle with the plastic bag holding his treat, but finally I managed to get his small snack out of the bag, and he took care of the rest.

The whole ordeal took about ten seconds and then the stalks were gone. Soon afterwards this great elephant took a "bow," his form of a Thailand wai, to say thank you.

Just TOO cool! It really made my day.

It seems there is some sort of Elephant "farm" nearby and supposedly this public exposure is used to supplement the cost of feeding these huge guys and assisting their caretakers with their upkeep. I'm hoping to see another one soon.

-Jeeem-