I have bronchitis again.

Seems every year I come down with this annoying, semi-chronic condition...a grim reminder of my slothful days of smoking.

I've been offline for a while because the phone lines have been dysfunctional. The Thai labor crew droids have been hard at work on Soi 3, hammering, cutting, smashing, and generally destroying part of the road and riverbank. Consequently, they bundled all the phone and power lines together and strung them up in a tree, to allow passage of their earth moving equipment.

Real professional.

-J-

A Day in the Life of Jeeem in Thailand

In seven more days, I will be returning to teach after my two months of holiday time. Its been a nice break but a tad boring at times when I was down for the count with my coughing spells. Therefore, I took to the roads exploring, shopping and discovering, every chance I got.

In a foreign country, you see some of the strangest things...things that seem to defy explanation, only because they are foreign and you can't figure out what they are because you don't speak the language.

One of these "Things," are the ever-present folding tables set up on the sidewalk around Thailand, with a large red sign placed on the table and a large, white, number "2" written on it. Often these tables are unmanned, with nothing on the table other than the red sign. At other times, a Thai person is sitting there with mobile phones lying about and a notebook laid out with Thai scribbling on it.

I make mental notes of these "Things," so I can later ask someone just what these things are. I don't always get an answer, but that's usually because my description of the said "Thing," is severely lacking. However, my description of the "Number Two Tables," received a quick response.

Mobile phones, even here in Thailand, can be expensive. Some of them fetch prices in the 8000 to 12,000 baht range, depending on the bells and whistles they possess. So, enterprising Thai's will set up a "Number Two Table," charging two baht per minute for the use of their phone(s).

Mobile phone-less people wander by, spot the number two table, and stop to make a call. No fuss, no muss...no phone cards or hot phone booths. The advantage to the "Number Two Table," owner? In time, their proceeds pay for the phone itself and eventually for the phone credit cards that charge them. In my neighborhood, along the main road, I've spotted as many as four of these tables set up within a kilometer radius.

Time to move on...join me at the wet market, won't you?

-Jeeem-

Muslim Militants Move North?

This is the third time in my Asian saga in which I've encountered the subject of bombs.

The first was in Manila, Philippines, the second in Nagoya, Japan and now here in the deep south of Thailand.

Southern violence by Muslim militants, in the past, have mostly taken place in the three border provinces of Pattani, Yala, and Narathiwat (all further south of me) until just recently.

At 8:25 p.m. on April 3, an explosion rocked the Carrefour department store on Phetkasem road in Hat Yai. Shortly thereafter, bombs went off at Hatyai airport (where two people were killed) and at the Green World Palace Hotel in Songkhla city, a hotel I recently stayed at overnight. All these places are fairly close to home, seeing that I travel to Hat Yai on a fairly frequent basis and have friends in Songkhla city.

What to think?

Well, I for one realize that the chance of my getting killed while crossing one of the busy roads here in southern Thailand, or from eating tainted food from one of the many street hawker stands, is most probably greater than my number coming up on a bomb...but, it's something I'm definitely going to keep my eye on in the local news.

The violence in the Deep South has not been squelched by Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra's paper crane episode, so I'm wondering what else he has up his sleeve. I hope it involves something a bit more aggressive than dumping trash on the heads of angry Muslims.

-Jeeem-


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One of the first things we learn in life is we are responsible for our actions...unless of course you are a celebrity.

Martha Stewart, inmate 55170-054, recently released from the Alderson Federal Women's prison in West Virginia after her whopping five months incarceration, is now free again to unleash more of her insults and mistreatment upon the American public.

It doesn't take much research to uncover the fact that Stewart has a gleaming reputation as a royal bitch.

Her statement upon release from federal prison:

"The experience of the last five months in Alderson, West Virginia has been life altering and life affirming. Someday, I hope to have the chance to talk more about all that has happened, the extraordinary people I have met here and all that I have learned. I can tell you now that I feel very fortunate to have had a family that nurtured me, the advantage of an excellent education, and the opportunity to pursue the American dream. You can be sure that I will never forget the friends that I met here, all that they have done to help me over these five months, their children, and the stories they have told me."

Life altering and life affirming?

What sort of namby-pamby horseshit is that?

She goes on to say...

"Right now, as you can imagine, I am thrilled to be returning to my more familiar life. My heart is filled with joy at the prospect of the warm embraces of my family, friends, and colleagues. Certainly, there is no place like home."

"There is no place like home."

Been revisiting the Wizard of Oz in the Alderson rec room Martha?

Personally, I was hoping she would buy a good solid sentence of about twelve to twenty years without parole, but then...that's the American justice system for ya.

I have a friend back home who is doing better than five years for growing ganja. He's a wonderful guy with tons of friends, has no prior record, and to my knowledge never insulted another human being on earth. Upon his release, his life will be all but ruined. I sincerely doubt he'll be calling his experience, "Life altering and life affirming."

Five months?

Justice?

Karma's gonna get ya Martha babe!

-Jeeem-

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Thai Spirit Houses

Many Thai people believe that when a Thai family builds a new house, there is always the possibility that it has disturbed the spirits who live on the property.

In order to protect their new home from the spirits revengeful harm or mischief, some Thai families put up a little model house (SAN PHRA PHUM) on a pole for the spirits to live in. The spirit house must be located somewhere on the grounds where the shadow of the human house will never fall on it.

Offerings of incense, candles, fruit, drinks, flower garlands, rice, chicken, eggs, betel leaves and little figurines representing servants, dancers, elephants, and cars, will be placed here, because the spirits must be kept happy at all costs.

Amazingly enough, though they look like houses and are temptingly stocked with food, the spirit houses are almost never occupied by birds. Perhaps even the birds respect these invisible beings.

-Jeeem-

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Well, our play “The Three Little Pigs,” was a tremendous success!

I was doing fine, last Thursday, as I walked to school…until I reached our classroom and saw all the kids adorned in their costumes, huge smiles on their made-up faces, tittering on the edge of excitement.

Then I became nervous.

I went through a series of terrible, “What ifs,” which threatened to dampen my past optimism. The “stage father” was fretting something awful. The kids noticed this of course and surrounded me, hugging me, and cajoling me to smile and mellow out.

They succeeded of course, as they usually do, and I slowly began to take deep breaths and tell myself everything would be fine.

Once we entered the backstage wings, the rest was a blur. It went fast! Seemingly much faster than in our rehearsals and it was all over in no time flat. None of the problems I envisioned ever happened. Things went so smoothly it wasn’t even funny.

To say I was proud when the applause burst forth would be a terrible minimization. It seemed I couldn’t stop smiling, even though my cheeks hurt.

I love those kids and right now, as I look back on that moment, I cannot think of anything that would possibly have made me happier than to see their happy faces as they bowed to the appreciative audience.

I look forward to doing this again next year.

Speaking of “Next year,” I am prepared to sign another contract for yet another year here in southern Thailand. Although I have had a numerous amount of job offers from other provinces in Thailand, I have decided to stay here another year and teach these wonderful children again.

The “unobtainable one” is another reason I have decided to stay, but certainly secondary to my beautiful, wonderful Thai children.

-Jeeem-

A Day in the Life of Jeeem in Thailand

Today I’d like to take you with me on my walk to school…

Dressed and ready, we walk out my front door, step upon the covered porch, and stamp out our shoes to rid them of the creatures that inhabited them during the night.

Grabbing our umbrellas (because you never know when a thunderstorm will hit and you DON’T want to be caught in a Thailand thunderstorm…), we unlock the outside gate and re-lock it once we’re outside, descending onto Soi three.

Rounding the bend of the river, some of the local children notice us and approach…some uttering “Farang! (Westerner)” and others just clamoring to shake our hands and say hello or good morning, or just get a good look at us.

We follow Soi 3 (rural road) toward the bridge, waving to several families who recognize us, either because they have children who are taught at our school, or because they know we live in the neighborhood.

We pass beneath the sacred tree, with a trunk so wide, twelve men might find it difficult to surround it by joining hands. There’s a marble alter built in front of this tree, with several bronze, Buddhist figurines set upon it. To the right of the alter is a three foot, concrete façade of a Cobra snake, black back and white underbelly, with open mouth, exposed fangs, and a multitude of offerings stuck in it’s mouth. Today, we observe, there’s an egg in there and several flower necklaces hanging from the Cobras’ fangs.

Spiritual offerings are placed all about the marble alter, including dishes of food, burning incense, flowers, burning candles, and liquid offerings. The huge tree trunk is adorned with many multi-colored swathes of silk cloth. Spirit houses* adorn the base of the tree trunk, as well as trinkets and a small disco ball, which hangs from a nearby tree limb.

Moving on, we encounter several people passing by on motorcycles, most who recognize us and either smile, beep, or wave. We nod recognition and receive many broad smiles. This being, of course, the Land of Smiles.

The local mechanic is up and about this morning, a cornhusk cigarette hanging from his lips, as he grins and waves. We cross over the bridge, take an abrupt right, and head north on route 4, gazing at the traffic, which is immense even for 7:30 in the morning.

Songtheaws and buses stream past, honking and waving down passengers heading south to Sadao.

We come upon the local petrol station, where two of the employees are waiting for us.

The gasoline jockeys employed here, are quite friendly. The bigger one of them sports a huge beer belly and constantly walks around the lanes with his tee shirt hiked up, exposing his rotund belly to everyone who can see. Every morning he smiles, salutes, and says, “Good Morning Teacher!” His son is a student at our school, in Prathom four.

The other gasoline jockey is an older fellow, skinny as a rail, but always with a smile plastered on his face. He greets us with a hearty, “HALLO!”

We walk on…passing the discount clothing shop, the bus stop, and crossing the side street, we come upon my good friend who has had a stroke. His face is waxy and you can see the bells palsy on the right side of his face. He is standing today, shaking his hands vigorously, religiously doing his physical therapy exercises. He smiles at us and winks, not wanting to disturb his rhythm.

In the next block, we come upon my muscle bound Thai friend. He always smiles and sometimes he has his pretty wife with him and his adorable son. We’re lucky today, for as we approach, he is hoisting a huge bag of rice on his shoulders and his wife and son are sitting only paces away. We approach and as they notice us, their smiles warm our hearts. The little one puts down his breakfast bowl and comes to us, wanting to shake hands. We shake hands with him and utter ‘Sawasdee Krap’ to the mother and her husband, as we forge onward in our morning journey.

Approaching the main street in Thunglung, our eyes downward, looking for dog poop, as there are many resident dogs in this stretch and they only have one place to poop and that’s the sidewalk.

Rounding the corner and heading east on main street, we pass the caged Mynah bird, who squawks, “Hello!” This seems so bizarre, in a world of Thai language; we have a damn bird who speaks English!

Main Street is lined with small stores and restaurants, which are mostly quiet now…only to become very active in the early evening. We head towards the village’s central park and turn left, heading toward Phatong Wittaya School. Several Songtheaws, buses, trucks and whatnot, stream by…loaded with school children from the surrounding neighborhoods. Out of these packed vehicles we hear, “Teacher! Teacher!” Alternatively “Mr. Jim!” We wave in recognition, much to the pleasure of the kids.

Waving to the throngs of students, we proceed along the sidewalk that borders the park, heading to school. Looking up, tangled in the power lines, are huge spider webs, replete with huge, black and white spiders, the size of a man’s hand. I shudder at the thought of these incredible beasts, but I’m aware that they exist in plentiful form in all countries of Southeast Asia, and are quite harmless.

The park is narrow and long and as we stroll along, suddenly out of the north comes a loud "BLEEEEE!" Suddenly, a rusted, worn looking locomotive and it's attached cargo cars, come streaming by, bleating out it's warning as it streams past this idealistic children's park. The irony in this fails to settle fully on me.

Finally, we approach the school. To our left is a throng of food carts, steam and blue smoke coming off some of them, all of them surrounded by throngs of schoolchildren in their daily uniforms (girls in blue pleated skirt and white blouse and boys in black shorts and white shirt).

The fare offered is as diverse as one can imagine. Breakfast treats are offered, wrapped in banana leaf, or served in shallow dish. Thai dishes consisting of barbequed chicken or pork, shrimp and cockle dishes, also are prevalent…causing my taste buds to protest. In Thai culture, dishes eaten at midday are likewise eaten in the morning hours.

The school grounds are not unlike an anthill, busy with workers, students, teachers and the like….we have arrived. We Wei the welcoming party at the gate, as we enter and head for our classroom, admidst more cries of, "Teacher! Teacher!"

*explained in more detail at a later posting

-Jeeem-

I've been lazy.

Actually, I've been rather lethargic.

This heat is really oppressive! We haven't had rain now for...um, maybe two months? Still, there's the humidity that no doubt comes from all the lush vegetation around here. So, when I get home from work, jumping into the shower, slipping into some shorts, having a cold glass of ice water and reading a book are on my immediate agenda.

We're winding things down at school, getting ready for the spring break. This week I'm giving exams all week and then next week we'll be having the summer camp on Thursday and Friday.

The summer camp will begin with a short performance and then my kids will be performing, "The Three Little Pigs." Looking back, I remember selecting the characters and then someone thinking, "Oh! Are any of the little pigs Muslim?" We hadn't thought of that. Well, one of them is, but it was finally approved. Today he's a proud little pig.

The three little pigs (all boys and rather naughty, hyper ones at that), as well as their murderous foe the big bad wolf (played by our only first grader, a tiny little girl who is ferocious in her own right), received their custom made costumes today. If ever there was a proud teacher [pseudofather] it was me.

Having never had any children (up to this point of 49), I can really appreciate the "gift" parents talk about, amidst their complaints about the little rug rats more menacing behavior. Seeing these kids happy just makes my day.

........

On the "unobtainable one's" front, she's proving to perhaps be not so unobtainable. Perhaps I do listen to my big Sis in Michigan sometimes...just ask me more Shirl!

After the summer camp is over, vacation pretty much begins. Oops! I said, "vacation" didn't I? It's "holiday" around here and as I'm finding out...practically everywhere else in the world too, except the U.S. I've had to change a lot of my American ways living here in Asia. It seems that the U.S. does a lot of things differently than the rest of the world.

So, once my "holiday" begins, I'll have damn close to a month and two weeks of paid time off. My old childhood buddy Jesus was planning on flying out to visit me for a couple of weeks in April but his plans got cut short when he took a new job and has to get through the 90 day probation period first. Hopefully he'll come out in October.

Well, that's all for now. I hope to post another "Jeeem's life in Thailand" series soon, if I can find some energy waiting for me at the end of the day.

-Jeeem-

A Day in the Life of Jeeem in Thailand

I’ve been thinking about doing this for months, but you know how it is….one thing leads to another and things get in the way. Well, I’ve a couple days off and not much to do except play on the computer, so here we go…

“Jim’s Quiet Musings…” as you all know, is a lie. I’m rarely “Quiet” about anything in my life. Wanda used to say to me, “Jim, you are one of the most assertive people I know…you say exactly what’s on your mind. The trouble is your delivery sucks!”

I learned a lot from that woman. May she rest in peace.

I got to thinking about the “purpose” of this blog. What’s the purpose of any blog? I suppose there are as many purposes as there are blogs. My purpose, I think, is to share my experiences and thoughts about my life with people who may be interested in them.

I must admit, I’ve been remiss about sharing my true “musings,” with the world.

I live in Thailand now, but I have lived in Asia for coming up on two years, and have failed miserably in sharing the minor stuff that is knocking around in my head most times. Being a westerner, one can’t help but compare daily life in Asia to stuff more familiar back home….

That is the stuff that’s interesting!

School lunch

Most days I eat lunch in the school cafeteria. Some days I skip it, depending on what’s being served, but most days I eat there because it’s free and well…I’m hungry.

I wait to eat until just about 12:10 p.m., because that’s the time when there’s a lull (peace and quiet) between Prathom 1, 2 & 3 (Grades one, two and three) and the beginning of lunch for Prathom 4, 5 and 6 and Mathayom (high school) kids.

The school cafeteria is an open concept design. What I mean by “open concept” is, well…it has a roof, but no outside walls. Essentially like an outside picnic area. This idea is not new to Asian culture. The first time I saw this design was in the Philippines. In northeastern Mindanao, I visited a University that had no windows, per se. Just bars on the uh….openings.

My first “western” thought, upon seeing this, was…poverty. Nevertheless, after six trips to Asia, I finally figured it out…it’s the heat. Classrooms are NOT air-conditioned. Air-conditioning classrooms in Southeast Asian heat would be like putting a Band-Aid on every mosquito bite. It’s not only impossible, it’s expensive.

The heat is oppressive, so open concept….well, .works!

So, I waltz through the “open-concept” cafeteria, surrounded and embraced by my loving students, to arrive at the kitchen. I hunt out the plastic bowls and accept a dollop of rice from one of the kitchen crew. I then hunt around through the various huge containers for the Thai treat of the day.

The menu is usually the same, but it’s actually damn good. Yellow curried pork rice with string beans, spicy fried chicken parts, Daikon radish, mushroom and pork rice with vegetables, fish balls in a curried rice stew with rice, beef satay with peanuts and rice…the list goes on. The food is healthy and good, but God I’m so sick of rice!

As a reprieve, the school usually has a “snack” area that is set up for the kids (and me). This snack area offers delicious, unbelievably delicious snacks like: Fried Phatong shrimp, Seafood Wittaya wontons, fried sausage, spicy hot chicken wings, fried cuttlefish on a stick, fried octopus surprise and something that resembles fried tortilla chips in a sweet and sour sauce (sometimes stuffed with crab)…all generously supplied with heaps of sliced (and spiced) cucumber.

The “drink” section features a dark, sweet iced coffee – coconut juice with immature coconut rind, and an “orange juice” which is much more like some sort of powerful Gatorade mix, that is clearly my favorite. Other “special” drinks include “milk” drinks that are usually for the kids (and me) which are made with evaporated milk and something sweet, like cherry, blueberry, or other sweet flavors.

Tables are bussed by the students, which means that if you’re gonna sit down, you had better check out your chair first…as it’s often loaded with food particles left behind from first, second or third graders. Each child has their own assignment…push in the chairs, wipe down the table, collect the drink glasses.

Every day, several local, wild dogs course through the cafeteria, scrounging for food tidbits. The local cats are a bit more discreet. Birds swoop through the cafeteria, landing on empty tables to pick on remnants of rice and other little smidges.

My “Western” mind takes in all of this, thinking to myself: “Kids back home would Freak with a capital “F” just seeing a dog walking through their cafeteria…let alone a bird flying through their protected cafeteria, or a cat winding between student legs in search of a handout.

It seems westerners are so compartmentalized…whereas things here in Asia are just so simple.

Kids here in Southeastern Asia, walk past the dogs, birds and cats as if they weren’t there. I empty my dish in a five-gallon bucket near the cleaning area, often having to push the muzzle of a stray dog away from the bucket that he was eating from…

I think to myself, “All of this would just about totally ‘gross out’ a western kid. Sadly, I feel grateful and happy for the simplicity of life in Thailand, compared to the remorse I feel for the complexity of life in the west.

-Jeeem-

2005 The Year of the Rooster

In less than twelve hours, the Year of the Rooster will be upon us here in Asia. The quiet sound of wind blowing through bamboo, palm, coconut and banana trees surrounding my home is increasingly being shattered by the machine gun-like explosions of fireworks set off by my neighbors, supposedly to ward off bad spirits and sweep away the bad memories, leaving room for the new ones to enter with the new year.

An appropriately named New Year! Ironically so, because of the shrill awakening of my slumber every morning with the cackling, crowing, choking sounds of the infernal beasts that live around this neighborhood.

I don't think I'll ever get used to that sound.

I'm off for two days, in celebration of the Chinese New Year, mainly because we've got a heavy presence of Chinese in this neighborhood. So yes, I do get to practice a little of my Mandarin, which never seems to get much better, even though I still study at a fairly regular pace.

I'm starting to prepare some regular blogging about some of the basic, mundane events in my typical daily life here in southern Thailand, after realizing one day that although they are mundane to me now, some of the things I see and do, are rather odd by Western standards. Hopefully somebody will get some enjoyment out of my posts.

Of late, I've finished a rather disturbing book called, "Tuesdays with Morrie." Disturbing because it has managed to call attention to my somewhat lonely existence and brought back into focus, the importance of family.

I've always had a tendency to avoid looking at the very things I should be looking at, hoping beyond hope they would just dissolve or wisp away with the wind. But, nothing like having issues thrown up in one's face eh?

Thing happen for a reason, don't they?

-Jeeem-

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It's a heat wave here in southern Thailand!

The cool months of December and January have left us and now the sweltering heat is creeping into February. Nights are tepid, mornings are warm, foggy and heavy with dew and by mid-morning it's hot, hot, hot.

At my school, the kids and I are busy putting together our skit, "The Three Little Pigs," for the upcoming English Camp, on the 10th and 11th of March. The kids and I are having a blast, but....the management of the school is having a bird.

Somehow, with management concerns, the presentations tend to drift from the childrens' hands, to the adult hands.

Suddenly it's, "This play has to be good, because the parents will be here to see it and they want to know that their kids are learning English appropriately!"

Somehow I'm managing not to get caught up in the management's paranoia, and I'm having fun with the kids. After all, I remember how important it was to me, to be an actor in a play in school at their age.

I teach approximately 1,050 students a week. All these students have Thai names or nicknames and it's impossible for me to remember all their names...but, I remember the names of the children in our play. I see them in the cafeteria, on school grounds and in the classroom...and I call them by name...

"Hello Namfon! (a small, skinny, Chinese looking girl with short, bowl cut hair) How are you?"

"Pichayet, (a short, pudgy faced Thai boy who speaks English with a flair) how are you doing today?"

"Prangtip! (An adorable young third grader, with pigtails and a devilish grin) How are you today?"

"Good afternoon Sarocha! (The cutest little second grade girl on the planet earth) Do you like rambutan?"

"Hello Hakimeen! ( A tall, shy Thai boy who dearly loves to speak English) Are you happy today?"

"Suchanat! (A sweet, pudgy Thai girl who's smile could light up New York) How is the weather today?"

"Pimpika!! (A tiny, cute, frail looking Thai girl who has a voice that would shake you out of your seat) Do you like to dance?"

And the list goes on....God, I love these kids so much! And they are doing wonderfully in their practice sessions for the play.

Other news?

• I've fallen in love with a woman that is unobtainable (again).
• I've been offered a job in North Western Africa for money that's double the highest amount I've ever made in my life.
• I've made two new friends, one from Belgium and another from India.
• I'm feeling unsettled for the first time in my life here in Thailand, mainly because of the job offer.
• I'm reading the most I've ever read in my life.
• I'm actually practicing my Chinese and my Thai and learning more and more phrases.
• My long-time friend Jessie Herrera and I finally made contact after approximately fourteen years, and we may soon reunite.
• I've made contact with another one of my childhood friends, who as it turns out, has been living in Japan for the last 22 years.
• I'm beginning to get age spots.

Well folks, that's about it! Chinese New Year is fast approaching southern Thailand and I'm hoping that the fireworks won't be as loud or as frequent as when I was living in Guangzhou!

-Jeeem-

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