Sunday, November 03, 2002


Thanks to all of you who have written me or called me, expressing your concern over my recent decision to quit my job. Especially those of you who have expressed concern over the fact that I have nothing lined up to replace my current job. I can only hope you will try and understand and accept me for who I am.

I try not to judge others, but I still do. It's none of my business and especially none of my business if those "others" don't ask for my opinion. I do; however, give my opinion, whether those "others" like it or not, when their decisions screw with my life. Otherwise, I basically believe we are all products of our own experiences in life and our decisions are based on our value systems and our moral beliefs. I cannot see another person's perspective if I have not walked in their shoes.

Within the last three months or so, the love of my life and I heard a person say the following, powerful statement which we both found to be true:

"There are those in life who...."

1) Make things happen.

2) Stand around and wait for things to happen.

3) End up saying, "What the fuck happened?"

I would like to believe that I practice number one. I am ready to leave my place of work. I learned things there. Staying there would only mean for me that I had, "Settled" for less in life. I'm moving on. The fact that I have nothing lined up, to make cash, is really not a big deal in my life. In another person's who has not lived my life, it might strike them as a stupid decision. Their opinion.

Walk in another person's shoes for a while before you judge them or try to force your values and morals down their throat.

Once, a long time ago, while working with a man who had a tenth grade education and had not obtained his G.E.D., I chided him for choosing a career that was far beneath his obvious intelligence and suggested he get back into school. I rambled on and on about ways to finish up his G.E.D. (high school equivalence exam) and enter college so he could gain a higher position than he was in at the time I was working with him.

He tolerated me and eventually told me, "Jim, I am happy digging ditches. I enjoy it."

Point taken. I learned a lot that day. I learned that just because I felt he was making all the wrong decisions in life, didn't necessarily mean he was. I was trying to shove my value system up his butt and he wouldn't have a part in it.

Good for him.

I will soon possess three college degrees. Those degrees are not what taught me what I know to survive. I rely less on those degrees than I do my common sense in life. I feel sorry for those people who stand around and wait for things to happen or end up saying, "What the fuck happened?" But, if that is what floats their boat, then more power to them.

My serenity in life is more important to me than a job. I know people who are miserable in their jobs, or their life, or their relationships and sometimes in all three and do nothing about it. They live in a my opinion. Everyone else can usually see it, except for the ones immersed knee deep in it.

At the recent conference / training I was forced to attend, I did go away with one learned tool.....this tool was presented as such:

Look at the following list:

* Money
* No legal problems
* Job
* Good Health
* Freedom
* Self-Respect
* Family
* Religion / Spirituality
* Good Friends
* Drinking or Using Drugs

Now, as you can probably see, this is geared, a tiny bit, to offenders in a court-ordered program. But, humor me.....

First, pick three from the list above that you would GIVE UP. I mean TOTALLY GIVE UP. Three of them. Go ahead....pick.

Finished? Pretty easy right? Maybe not, for some of you. I hope you picked carefully.

Now, pick three more.

Yep, three more. That is a TOTAL of six things you would totally GIVE UP if you had to. Pick carefully.

Now pick three more and circle the ONE ITEM you could never give up. Nine things you would totally give up and one that you would hang onto until the bitter end. This exercise will tell you a lot about yourself. You might think everybody would pick the same items as you do, but you are wrong. Some might give up "Family" before they would give up freedom. Some might give up self-respect before they would give up money. Everybody is different, based on their own value systems.

Get my point?

Towards the end of the check off, I struggled between self-respect and freedom. That's me. That's who I am. Trust that I will make the right decisions for myself, in my life and you will be my good (and true) friend.



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