My new toy...

The Acer® one terabyte (1000 gigabytes) external hard drive. 

Silly me, thinking when I bought my desktop PC five years ago, that 80 gigabytes would last me a lifetime!  


They fill up so fast!  Especially when you're downloading mega-games and mega torrent movies and pirated software programs...


Very cheap actually...only 2,459฿ ($82.62 U.S. and 50.31 British pounds).  Prices of electronics have been going down, down, down over the past few years....my 1 Gb USB stick-drive cost 340฿, only two years ago...now, for 
340฿, you can purchase a 4 or 8 gigabyte stick drive.  At least that's the case here in Southeast Asia.  


My intent for this extra memory is to partition things off so I can have a separate drive that is only devoted to downloads...of games, movies, and the like.  


-Jeeem-

Damnest cat I've ever owned!


No, I didn't teach her to do this.  I know some people do, but I wouldn't have either the patience or the know-how to teach a cat to do its business in the toilet.  She did this on her own, most likely by instinct. 

At first I had problems with Boo Boo pooping and peeing just about everywhere she pleased and I was seriously considering giving her away to another family somewhere, as a dog is one thing...but cat pee and poop?  Most rank crap you can imagine.  Why is it cat poop and pee is the worst?  Damn animal eats the same damn food, so you'd think...oh, never mind....

Anyway, one day I caught her peeing in the toilet.  Couldn't believe it.  She just decided to do it all on her own.  She doesn't poo there yet...wish she did...but you know cats, they have to cover their poo with something and going poo in the toilet...well, that just doesn't work for Boo, since...well, it's an Asian squat toilet.  Might be different if it was a Western sit-downer. 

So, I'm pleased and my good friend Simone in Malaysia, is terribly jealous of me since she's got a house full of cats and is burdened with buying kitty litter.  

For now anyway, Boo-Boo's Poo-Poo's remain outside, but her last act of defiance is pooping somewhere near the house...not kitty-kool!


===================================


On a totally different front, I've had a rash of motorcycle repairs that have kept me from purchasing some of the big-ticket items I've been planning on, such as external hard-drive, large screen digital television and blu-ray DVD player, as well as satellite T.V.  All in good time I suppose.  


I had been hearing some clunking and clanking in the chain guard area of the bike for some time, but just like me...I let it go until it became a dire emergency.  Left for work one day last week and the clunking and clanking reached new heights and eventually I couldn't go anywhere...luckily for me the bike petered out right in front of the motorcycle repair shop, which luckily was open.  


Two, totally stripped sprocket gears and a damaged chain drive.  Came to 500฿, way more than I was expecting to spend.  But, within two more days that initial amount catapulted to over 2000฿.  But now my motorcycle purrs and runs great.  

My love life has become interesting with a very young, pretty Thai girl entering my life.  She doesn't speak hardly any English and could most likely be my daughter so I really don't know where this is going but for now it's fun.  That's me folks...I'm all about fun.  Couldn't live this way in states without being arrested, so I'm having my fun with it. 


I'm experiencing a tree frog invasion of sorts.  Here's a recent video of my tree frog downstairs:



As I write this blog entry, another, darker species of tree frog is looming above me on one of the roof rafters attempting to pounce on me and rip me apart, limb-from-limb.


Living in the jungle...gotta love it!


-Jeeem-

As promised...I finally purchased a card reader in order to get those pictures off my Cannon digital camera.  Still can't download them for some reason.  

Anyway, as you can see from the pic above, it's another leggless visitor to my home.  This was the really big one I was talking about.  I was sitting at the kitchen table doing a Sodoku puzzle when Puppy suddenly went berserk, barking and whining to beat the band.  When I turned around, I saw this head poking out from underneath the kitchen counter.  

 

I chased the thing all over the house, for a good fifteen or twenty minutes before I finally got it to leave via the front door.  Puppy didn't help at all, jumping and lunging at the thing, barking his fool head off and scaring it into the opposite direction in which I was trying to coax it.  This is a shot of the thing under the stove, where you can begin to see the length of it.

Here it is coiled up behind the water barrel in my bathroom.  As big as this thing was, it was surprising how small a space the thing could bunch up into.  Not sure what type of snake it was, but the thing went a good eight feet long easily.  

I had a damn good video of it stretched out on the kitchen floor, showing its full length, but unfortunately lost that video while trying to retrieve photos off my camera.  

I'm guessing, but I figure the thing had been in the house a couple days without my noticing it.

-Jeeem-

Second day on the job in my new capacity as a private hire.  I'm freelancin' now baby!

It's quittin' time and I head out to my motorcycle, hop on and head North to Ban Phrue.  I'm running out of medication and want to get to the pharmacy and get home fast as there's a big storm front building and I don't fancy getting caught in the rain. 

I pass through Ban Thung Lung and am approaching Ban Mo when suddenly I see a gorgeous sight.  A total fox riding on the back of a motorcycle to my left.  Gorgeous, long curly locks of black hair cascading down her back...tight fitting halter top, skin tight jean shorts, beautiful legs and black patent leather pumps.  

I'm not the only one looking...she's gorgeous and other guys are checking her out as well.  

About a kilometer down the road their bike slows down as the driver pulls up behind an ice cream cart.  I approach slowly, my eyes glued to those gorgeous thighs...

An older woman is driving the motorcycle...maybe her mother.  As I pull up even with this stone-cold fox, I hear...

"Hello Teacher!" as she places both hands before her face in a respectful wai.  

OWNED!


One of my Mathayom five students.  

I mumble a "Hello!" and speed off.  

Damn.  

She's one of my better students too.  Always volunteers to help me out, writing things on the white board.  Always trying to answer questions.  

The girl is maybe sixteen...maybe...And one of the prettiest Thai's I've ever seen.  

At school all the students wear uniforms...most of them gym or sports warm-ups...hardly form fitting.  This was the first time I'd seen her in street clothes.  

Damn.  

-Jeeem-

To follow up with my previous post about the mystery caller at the store...

I finally discovered it was the woman at the store who called the guy on her mobile.  So much can get left out and misunderstood in a country such as this one, where most people cannot speak English.  

Evidently, the guy had discovered I frequented her store and approached her, asking that she call him if I were to show up, so he could ask if I wanted to teach him English.  Once I'd figured this out, I went home and thought about it and well...being that I have only about three hundred baht to my name until the end of the month, I thought it ridiculous for me to turn down the offer. 

I went back to the store and gave the woman a sheet printed in Thai (I use Goggle Translate, which works fairly well) instructing her to call the man and give him my contact details.  Long story short, he called me at home and I agreed to teach him for two hours on Fridays, at 250 baht an hour.  Five hundred baht a week...that will get me through.

It's been a while since I taught privately, and actually, for me, it's easy work...boring, but easy money.  So, I've decided to begin trolling for some other students to teach on the side in the evenings.  I can easily make enough money to pay my rent, electricity and ADSL Internet bill with just a few hours teaching.  


The thing with me, is no matter if I'm just at home doing nothing, it's my time and I own it.  Having to teach, even though I'm getting paid, I see as infringing on my personal time...something for now I've just got to get over for awhile.  

Thai's (and I don't mean this in a prejudicial way) can be seriously lazy.  They contract for you to teach them, then they do no work...no homework, no studying, no preparation.  They expect you to force the ability to learn English into their little brains, just sit there, and somehow miraculously come out in the end..refreshed, knowledgeable and fluent in English. 

So, for now I've got a part-time job to facilitate my income until I get back on my feet again...that alone (being that the electricity guy came by threatening to turn my power off two days ago) is an ease on my mind.  

I begin working on Monday and as mentioned in a previous post, the school is only paying me half my salary for this month since I am starting late.  Then, in mid-June I am scheduled to make another expensive trip to Penang, Malaysia for my one-year visa, which is much, much more expensive...so June is going to be a very tight month.  Having this part-time job will definitely be a lifesaver for me.  

-Jeeem-

Ahhhh.....

The wonders of drinking and blogging....

Beer Chang, six-point-four on the liqtor scale.

-Jeeem-

Have you ever seen this sign?   You're more likely to see it in Western countries than in Asia.  

Do you understand what it means?  Most likely most people don't, but they think it's funny so they post pictures of it on the Internet as gags and jokes.  

But, it's really a serious issue!

You see, here in Asia...off the touristy path...you'll find the real deal...What Asia is really all about.  

Part of that reality is squat toilets...like what I have in my cottage here in Ban Klong Tong Nûea, Southern Thailand.

Step off the touristy path and this is what you're gonna find.  Ridiculous you say?  Well, actually it has been well documented that Asian people knew a thing or two about...well, pooping. 

Chalk it up to science once again...Squatting actually facilitates pooping, whereas sitting can end up making you constipated.  No wonder people in the West are often uptight.  

Anyway, get a bunch of foreigners together who've visited Asia a couple times and those assholes come up with something like this....

Well, I guess you can forget about getting your information from HoboTraveler.com since they are just a bunch of NOOBS who don't know anything about pooping in Asia.   The fools have you facing the WRONG WAY!

I mean...for chrissakes!  Would YOU wanna be caught pooping in the wrong direction?  I mean just THINK of the repercussions!  

For IDIOT information on traveling to foreign countries, for total morons: 

Visit: HoboTravelerNOOB.com

But, now that you've gotten the idea what this squatting thing is all about, imagine for a second you're an Asian guy or gal who's never visited the West...You end up in Grand Central Station in New York and you've gotta take a dump.  

Jeeez...

First off, for anyone...even a Westerner like me who's lived most of his life in the West...who the hell would even THINK of using a bathroom in Grand Central Station?  

Just a thought...

(Hey Ma!  I went to New York and got Trucked in the Arectum by a bunch of Trainvestabules who had Strapondilfoes!)

But, the point here is the Asian dude or duddette who gets off the Oriental Express...enters a Western toilet...and spots oneahthose Western sit-down jobbys.  

WTF? (add incredulously blank stare)

Okay...maybe you've heard about these monstrosities on...uh, YouTube, Yahoo, Letterman, Conan (gotcha), Fox News, Google Earth....

But, here it is:
...staring you right in your slanty-eyed, yellow-skinned, tsunami-ravaged ass.  

Sowhatayagonnado?  

"I ain't puttin' my cream-colored, pristine, globular slanty-ass down on that Caucasian porcelain!  Nuh-uh!..........................Bitch got disease!"

So, they climb their ratty-asses up on top o' that bad-boy, puttin' their dirty ass feets on the toilet seat and squirmin' all around and shit.  An's that mutha fukin toylet seet, be rockin' and movin' and shit...and eventually gonna be all broke and shit!  

So, they put up one of those cool logos I began this blog with...so's those slanty-eyed-bitch-dawgs'll get the fuckin' message, yo!

Remember dawg.  Yo fuk wit us and put yo dirty feets on our twalets, we be puttin' caps in yo ass mutha facka!

Yo...


-Jeeem-

If you've been reading my other posts, you know how much time I've invested in getting the employment position at the school near to where I live.  But, for months I was wondering if I'd have to leave the country, as jobs appeared few and far between here.  

When I first arrived here in Southern Thailand in July of 2004, it wasn't three months before my damn phone was practically ringing off the hook at my home on Soi three, with people asking me to teach them English.  Sometimes I'd get ten to fifteen calls a day.  I turned down all of them since my free time is important to me...a kickback from a time I hit rock bottom from working too many hours in the states.  

Since then, mostly the requests have died down as people discovered I wasn't interested in teaching privately.  I did take an advanced English job twice a week on Tuesday and Thursday, teaching two hours a night in Ban Thung Lung, but gave up that job since the students were too lazy and wouldn't even do simple homework assignments.  

Thai's, in comparison to people from the West, are incredibly lazy.  They often work long hours, but the work they produce is typically second rate and sloppy.  

This morning, for some reason, the requests began again.  Right out of the blue, beginning at nine in the morning, I received a phone call from a recruiter at a school in Songkhla who saw my resume online.  Then, minutes after telling him I was already committed, I received another call from another school.  But, the real shocker was yet to come.

I left home to go to the local store and pick up a few things.  The proprietors there know me well and I do a lot of business there...besides the fact I've taught English to both of their children.  The mother, who typically runs the store in the morning hours, can be very annoying at times since she always takes so long to finally bag my groceries and finish the sale.  This morning was no different, but with a twist.  

She was talking on one of her many cell phones she keeps in her cash drawer.  She rents phones out for three or four baht a minute and also uses a phone to transfer credits rather than have to sell phone cards outright.  

I was getting impatient and began bagging my own groceries and counting out the exact change when she suddenly handed the phone to me.  "What?"  Who in the hell could this be?  

On the phone was some Thai guy, struggling to speak English...but, it didn't take me long to figure out he was asking me if I would teach English...either to him or to his kids.  I refused and told him I was sorry but I was in a hurry and gave the phone back to the woman, paid my bill and left.  

The only thing I can think of is he either saw me at the store or saw me pulling up at the store and called the woman to talk to me.  Before I had left she asked me for my phone number and I said to her in my crude Thai that I couldn't remember my number.  I wanted to tell her I don't give my number out, but couldn't figure out how to say it. 

Three job offers in less than one hour after months of trolling for open employment positions.  When it rains, it truly does pour.  

-Jeeem-

Should have posted this eon's ago but as I mentioned earlier, I've had trouble with getting the photos off my digital camera until I can purchase a card reader.  Luckily though, I took some photos with my mobile phone too, last time I was in Georgetown, Penang, Malaysia.  

This is the Jaya Restaurant I've raved about so many times.  Just down the road a piece from the Oriental Hotel, on Penang Road.  The place was recommended to me by one of the employees at the Oriental, which surprised me as the Oriental has their own restaurant next door...albeit a tad expensive and only open in the evening hours.  

This is a lousy photo...but readable, showing the address.  

 

And this photo was taken from my table, showing the view out on the street.  The last time I was in Georgetown was latter March and I'll be going again in June, before my current visa expires on June 20th.  I'm looking forward to the trip if not for the Jaya, just the ambiance of Penang, a very enjoyable place to be.  

My last trip I was eating at the Jaya when I was approached by two rather pretty young girls doing a survey for college.  Something to do about some famous rice dish the Jaya served.  

"Well, while the Jaya is definitely my favorite restaurant, I'm not really a big fan of rice...shocking, I know...being I live in Asia.  Ha!"

"You know, the Jaya is a very, very famous restaurant!"  

"Well, no...I didn't know that but I can surely see why.  While I was living in China, there were so, so many restaurants...but, our trick was to walk the streets looking for one that was packed with people...those were always the best.  Same goes for the Jaya I see!"  

"Yes, I'm not an early riser but I hear tell people are lined up outside in the early morning waiting for it to open...to get the freshest roti canai!"

The giggly girl was originally from Singapore and had definite Chinese characteristics.  The other girl, a Muslim, rather quiet and reserved...typical for a Muslim woman, was actually from Southern Thailand and knew the area where I lived.  

Anyway, we had a pleasant chat and learned a little about one another.  People are very friendly and pleasant in Penang.  I hope to get some more photos on my next trip and hopefully post some different views of Georgetown for you. 

-Jeeem- 

For the past three weeks at least, this is what it has looked like here...at THREE O'CLOCK IN THE AFTERNOON!  

I've always loved thunderstorms.  They're so ominous and foreboding...giving me a sense of security when I'm home and safe.  It's difficult to explain really, but they always give me a good feeling inside.  They're exciting!  Mother nature at her best.  

It's 11:38 a.m. right now as I'm typing this and already I can see the clouds gathering to the north and the northeast..."When the wind is from the North...man should not go forth.  When the wind is from the East...tis' not fit for man nor beast."  Makes sense when you hear an old timer say, "Gonna be a rough one they say...ayup!  A Nor'Easter's on it's way!"  

No different here in Asia.  I've watched as storms approach from the West (This is the Best) and the South (...blows the fly right into the fish's mouth) and they are pussy cats compared to the Nor'Easter's here.   Well, maybe...just maybe Portsmouth, Virginia was comparable.  

I think that's the deal...living near or on the ocean.  In Portsmouth, Virginia...when I was living in the barracks at Portsmouth Naval Regional Medical Center back in 1979, I was right on the Elizabeth River...a tributary that was only minutes from the big blue.  I'd arrived back home after attending a "Journey" concert up in Newport News and it was about six p.m.  The sky, as I remember it, was almost pitch black and looking out my dorm window I could see lightning flashes touching down for miles and miles.  It was awesome.  

Here in Southern Thailand, looking out a window during a thunderstorm is NOT advisable.  Just weeks ago I was preparing to shut down my computer when a storm hit suddenly, and my router was struck by some finger lightning that zapped in through my upstairs window.  My Internet connection was out for six days before a TOT technician made it out here.  

Curiously, the storms here almost always come from the North, the East or the Northeast.  Only rarely do they approach from the South or the West and when they do they never really amount to much.  So, lately I've learned to get all my traveling, shopping, errands, etc., done in the early hours rather than in the afternoon, lest I end up driving home in a soaking rain.  


-Jeeem-