Once again, like a bad habit, I’m back to blog yet again.

This time it was computer problems of the fatal kind and my laptop is all but dead. I’m trying to salvage the data on its hard drive, but have yet to make any headway. So I’m back in business with a new computer (PC) purchased at Tesco Lotus, but not without annoying snags.

It was difficult enough just securing a loan for the computer, being a foreigner in an Asian country. I had to come forth with my passport, up-to-date bank statement, work permit, teachers license and a gob of other documents before they would even consider giving me the loan, and even then they wouldn’t allow a two-year loan since my visa and work permit are limited to one-year renewals.

Once the computer was home and hooked up, I hit another brick wall. The operating system was Linux / Unix based and on top of that, it was all in Thai. So, back to the drawing board it was for me. Mam, my lovely counterpart, took the CPU into Tesco to have Microsoft Windows installed and ended up causing a major disturbance since security thought she was lugging a bomb into the store.

Once home, we discovered that although Windows was installed, several programs such as Word, PowerPoint and Excel were still in Thai. So, we finally ended up contracting with a local computer repairman who spent three days converting my CPU into an English friendly unit.

As many of my faithful readers may be wondering, my trip to Chum Phae in Isaan was a wonderful one. The train ride took three days and my layover in Bangkok was long and grueling, but worth it. Mam and her small entourage of local villagers met me at the Khon Kaen train station early in the morning and I can’t say that I’ve ever met friendlier people.

We drove from Khon Kaen to Chum Phae in a small pickup, piloted by Noi, a rather attractive lady boy, if I say so myself. I have to admit that it took me a while to notice that this “woman” was really a man, but if you know Thailand, katoey’s, as they are referred to, are about as commonplace as rice.

Most of the first day was a blur because of my lack of sleep, but once I arrived in the village, the hustle and bustle of meeting everyone (and I do mean “everyone”), didn’t allow for time to be tired.

Mam’s mom was awesome and greeted me with a huge hug. Her father was cordial, but all in all fairly accepting, which according to Mam, is a bit of a stretch for him. Her father is a rather eccentric, yet interesting man who lives away from the home in a small house on his rice farm. He chooses the tranquility of the farm over the hustle and bustle of the village. Several times during my stay of just over two weeks, Mam and I traveled out to his farm to bring him food and provisions and he seemed polite, if not a bit guarded.

Naturally, being a farang (westerner) and the major love interest of a popular, local village girl, I was in high demand. Everybody wanted to meet me. This was novel for the first few days, but became rather annoying after a week or so (We Westerners so covet our privacy and quiet time you know). My Thai is rudimentary at best, and my Lao and Isaan dialect is non-existent, so communication often came to an uncomfortable standstill since Mam often had difficulty translating what the villagers were saying to me.

Nonetheless, I had a wonderful time with these wonderful, gracious and exceedingly friendly people. My personal favorites were three women… Paan, Jaanta and Phuta. Paan is Noi’s mother. She owns and operates a beauty salon next to Mam’s home and openly jokes about her son/daughter’s gender issue.

Jannta and Phuta are two local villagers who have more character than could possibly be put down into words. Both these women are very dark, with deeply wrinkled, yet attractive faces from long hours in the hot Northeast Thailand sun, cutting rice in the rice paddies. Both typically wore turban style headgear and greeted me with red, syrupy smiles and blackened teeth, from years of betel nut chewing.

Waving sharp sickle knives about, they greeted me enthusiastically one particular morning, sputtering Lao and cajoling me to join them in the rice paddies to cut rice. As banal as this may seem to the reader, I must say it was one of the highlights of my visit and an experience I will not soon forget.

About fifteen to twenty of the local villagers showed up that day to cut rice in the burning sun, including Mam’s aged, yet agile mother. Once finished, the villagers were paid 100 baht (the equivalent of about $2.50) apiece and treated to a meal of duck. I, meanwhile, was graciously complemented by the landowner, as a (near) rice-harvesting expert.

It’s impossible to list all my experiences here, so I plan to blog about them as my memory banks retrieve them. At present, however, Mam is here with me in Songkhla and adjusting to life in the deep, restive south, quite well. Two months into Mam’s stay, we suffered a massive deluge of monsoon rains, which flooded the river basin and inundated our village. Mam and I were lucky though, and only had water enter our carport, up to the third step leading to our front door.

I hope to be contributing to this site more often now that I’m set up with a new computer, and I hope all of you who read my stuff had a safe and peaceful holiday season.

-Jeeem-

I'm leaving for Isaan to meet my honey's family!I've got my train tickets and I'm ready to go! I'll be leaving Hatyai around 5:00 p.m. and arriving in Khon Kaen at 5:50 in the morning on the 14th. Mam and I will spend a good two weeks together, before departing together on the 26th, to Hat Yai.

I'm really looking forward to meeting Mam's family, but it'll be a challenge as they don't speak any English and probably nothing more outside of their local Isaan dialect or Lao.

But Mam speaks not only traditional Thai, Lao and Isaan, but also English. She's excited about the train ride back, as she's never been on a train before, and we're going first class all the way.

We'll be back on the 28th, so look for more posts then...

-Jeeem-

Eating weird stuff...101.


To carry on with my past theme of “eating weird shit in Asia,” I’ve gotta say that it’s a never-ending episode here.

Having changed my routine somewhat, and beginning to head out later at night for my daily victuals run, I’ve happened upon an interesting food stand that offers very “different” sorts of food. Some of these “different” sorts of food are pretty nasty, like the preserved, salted egg in oyster sauce…but others are not only good, but actually entertaining!

I’d eaten at this place maybe three times, witnessing their nightly fireworks display, as they dumped a dishful of vegetables into hot, flaming oil and stir-fried this mixture for maybe three minutes. Flames shot up three feet from the frying pan as the woman winced, spatula in hand, while stir-frying this mixture.

Finally, a Thai friend in tow, who speaks good English and even better Thai, found out for me that this flaming mixture was actually stir-fried morning glory.

Yep, you heard me right. Morning Glory.

But hold on…before you start envisioning blue conical flowers, climbing vines and hallucinogenic seeds, it’s not like you think.

I’ve done my research, but as with any research done here in Southeast Asia, it’s all subject to change upon the “more reputable claims” by other groups.

Morning glory…or “Asian water spinach,” is very different than the climbing vine variety that you are thinking of, however, it’s from the same family of plant.

An online news article states: “Ipomoea aquatica has become a significant invasive species in the waterways of Florida, and is therefore illegal in that state.”

…..Well, maybe you should employ some Southeast Asians in your local restaurants!

Upon final discovery, I cautiously ordered some stir-fried Morning Glory. The woman chopped up my meal, added a dash of mystery sauce, a dab of diced chilies, some soy sauce, and who-knows-what-else and all of it went flying into a huge ball of flame.

The result?

Absolutely delicious! Crisp, hot, spicy vegetables in a semi-oily base, with a spicy snap to them!

In my research, the Cambodians claim initial rights to this dish, called “Ta-Koung” or simply “Takoun.” But…this popular dish is known in China as, “keng xin cai,” or ‘empty heart vegetable’ because of the hollow stems. It’s also known as “ong choy” in parts of China, “pak hung” in Thailand, “kangkung” in Indonesia and “rau muong” in Vietnam. Just in case you were wondering.

Many of you might scoff at these “language lessons” but believe me, they are “SURVIVAL” here in southeast Asia.

-Jeeem-

When it comes to learning languages, I’ve always sucked.

Looking back at my first grade Spanish class in El Paso, Texas, I remember that old witch Miss Velasquez (God rest her soul, as she’s certainly dead by now) who surely hated my guts because I couldn’t pronounce “Orange” or “Nose” correctly in Spanish.

I can pronounce them now, but as they say, “Too little, too late.”

Miss Velasquez wore her glasses around her neck, on a chain, and carried around a foot long “switch” that she hit us with if we weren’t paying attention. I remember too, that her breath always smelled like cloves.

I was hit a lot, since I was what the faculty dubbed, “A Dreamer.”

Well, everybody dreams right?

Yeah, but you’re evidently NOT supposed to dream during the day…else, you’re labeled the horrific, “DAY DREAMER.”

Nothing much has changed since those early days…I’m still a daydreamer, and I still suck at learning languages.

My payback?

My Buddhist karma has placed me in the opposite position in the classroom…as the LANGUAGE TEACHER, and as luck (did I say luck?) will have it, as a GRADE ONE through THREE English teacher of Thai students.

Wanna venture a guess about one of my biggest problems with these students?

Damn! You folks are quick!

Day Dreamers.

A whole slew of them.

No, I don’t wear my glasses on a chain around my neck.

No, I don’t hit the kids with a stick when they pronounce, “School” as “Sakoool,” or “Kitchen,” as “Chicken.”

But I do spend a fare amount of time cuing Chu, my Thai classroom partner, to get the kids attention when I’m teaching a lesson.

Today, for whatever reason, I was reminded of myself, some forty-four years ago…, which caused me to smile, and shake a finger at one of those dreaded…

DAY DREAMERS!

-Jeeem-

For the love of Pete...(literally?)

Google search strikes again!

While doing an image search for "Running Snake" I came upon this image for Butt Cream.

I'm trying to prepare a lesson for my kids using "Can & Can't," so I was going the animal route..."A fish can swim," "A snake can't run," etcetera, etcetera, when I discovered BUTT CREAM.

I'm not sure about the connection between "Running Snake" and "Butt Cream" and I'm not even going to try and figure it out.

-Jeeem-

I learn something every day!

Last year, while teaching my students the "Family," theme, I had a couple students mention that they had two fathers, two mothers, or both. I laughed it off, assuming, in my western mindset, that the kids were from a broken family.

I didn't think twice about it until this year, when I introduced "Family" again and received another, overwhelming response of kids claiming two (or in some cases more) fathers or mothers.

This time it caught my attention, so I asked my Thai assistant and good friend Chu, (Wichuda Kaewphibool), "What is this thing about two mothers or fathers?"

It seems that some rather large Thai families, (some are incredibly large, with as many as twelve or more children), may offer out their children (some or all) to surrogate parents for certain days of the week, the weekend, or other arrangements.

Mae Bun Tum: Means second mother.

Por Bun Tum: Means second father.

As Chu explained to me, some families may turn their kids over to the second (or surrogate) parent on certain days, or whenever needed.

The second (surrogate) parent is most often a single woman, often divorced, who has no children, or has free time to spend, giving his or her time, affection, and knowledge to the greater good of the kids.

Although it isn't as common for children to have a surrogate dad, some do, often naming their surrogate father as their father, rather than the one who is most absent from their lives.

-Jeeem-

The monsoons here are incredible. I can't say enough about them.

Perhaps it's because I came from a dry climate...The desert southwest (southwest Texas).

I've experienced rains in many locales and countries and nothing seems to compare to the rains here in southern Thailand.

After school today I decided to stop off at my favorite Thai restaurant. I ordered one of my favorite dishes, fried pork, mixed vegetables over rice with soup (pork vertebrae with bean sprouts, green onion, and flavorful broth) and a side dish of cucumber and raw green onion, all mixed with pungent, aromatic, and spicy Thai peppers...of course.

After finishing my meal at 2:15 p.m., it had begun to rain.

Five minutes later, it was a solid downpour, and by 2:35 p.m., I was soaked to the bone even though I had my umbrella with me.

It seemed as though the rain was coming in from every angle.

Now I'm home. It's 4:00 p.m. The rain is only now beginning to let up.

Over an hour and forty-five minutes of heavy rain...

This kind of rain in southwest Texas would kill people.

Looking out my front door, I can easily understand where the metaphors, "Curtain of rain," and "Sheets of rain," come from.

The thing that baffles me, is most of the soil here is clay...red clay...clay doesn't absorb water. So, I wonder, "Where the hell does it go?"

People here are used to the monsoons and seem to coexist with them well, but, I've seen pictures of past years when flooding took its toll on southern Thailand and still threatens to wreak havoc again.

What will this year be like?

The anticipation leaves me breathless.

-Jeeem

I woke up to a hazy world today.

A smoky scent tainted the air; which, although not uncommon here in southern Thailand where everyone seems to look for a reason to burn something, lasted most of the day.

By early afternoon I was getting curious about the smoky air. Suddenly it dawned on me..."The forest fire situation in Indonesia."

http://www.cnn.com/EARTH/9802/25/indonesia.fires/

Weird. I had read about it, but didn't think it would affect us this far east. I could smell the burning smell, a lot like burning grass, most of the day, until our monsoon rains came in early afternoon and cleansed the air.

But not for long.

The haze was back by late afternoon.

Sometimes the rains here amaze me. The sky will suddenly get dark, the winds will pick up, and the rain will fall at an incredible rate. Looking outside my front door, I see where the metaphor, "A curtain of rain," comes from.

Currently the kids are outside screaming, "Nueng, song, sam, see, ha, hok, jet, paet, kao, sip, sip-et, sip-song, sip-sam"...while feverishly jumping rope in front of my house. They love it when I venture out and I stop and take the time to watch their antics.

Yesterday was the Queen's birthday, but I didn't go out into town. I only participated in the festivities by watching the fireworks from my balcony last evening.

Although I know my surroundings well, sometimes I just choose to vegetate in my apartment, reminiscing about Thai life and how that life interacts with a foreigner like me...

Till later,
-Jeeem-

Sorry for the long absence, but I've been busy...Well, not really busy-busy, just pre-occupied. Not much to report lately, but then I haven't really been in the writing mood of late.

Soi 3, the road I live on, looks like a freaking war zone. The Thai utility construction drones have been working on some damn project I can't figure out and lately this has included ripping up our road for seemingly no valid reason.

They ripped it up two weeks ago and have done nothing since. It's as if they got drunk one night and said, "Hey, we eventually have to rip up the road, but let's do it WAY early and screw up all the neighborhood foot and motor traffic so we can watch people struggle!"

Now that I think of it, this appears to happen in the west too. Perhaps construction crews are close members of a worldwide union. Maybe the famous "WAR PRESIDENT" should declare war on highway construction crews worldwide, instead of interferring in the middle east and killing innocent citizens???

Anyway...

I'm getting ready to begin practice for this year's play, "Goldilocks and the three bears." This year we're making it bigger and better! Last year we only had around fifteen kids or so. This year we're presenting thirty children, a good majority of them first graders, so things ought to be fun and interesting.

I've dumped my private class because I got sick of their laziness and I wasn't getting paid enough. But, there is a possibility I might restart it again later, but under different circumstances. So now, my Tuesday and Thursday afternoons are free! My free time is important to me.

Well, enough for now. Just wanted to let you all know I'm still alive and kicking. I'm on a day off today since it's the Queen's birthday...three day weekend! Stay tuned!

-Jeeem-

Happy Birthday!

This Sunday marks the 60th birthday of the famous Myanmar pro-democracy advocate and Nobel Prize laureate, Aung San Suu Kyi.

Unfortunately, she'll be celebrating yet another birthday under house arrest.

Myself, as well as people all over the world, will have her in their thoughts and wishing her continued courage and strength in her fight for democracy and human rights in Myanmar.

-Jeeem-