Jim's quiet musings . . .

Thursday, April 24, 2003

Calista - Star du toilette

Dave's at it again! This time with a genius rendition of his resident shower spider, aptly named Calista. Go check out his posts of Thursday, 20 March and Friday, 28 March, to read about the "tough bitch" who is easily the 21st century version of a Charlotte who's ditched her corset for some tight fitting lycra.

-Jeeem-

THAILAND versus AMERICA

Thailand Scenario #1: Boy and Parn get into a fistfight after school. - Crowd gathers. Parn wins the fight. Boy and Parn shake hands and end up buddies.

America Scenario #1: Joe and Oscar get into a fistfight after school. - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Joe and Oscar… Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Joe started it.

Thailand Scenario #2: Pornwat won’t be still in class, disrupts other students. Pornwat sent to office and given a good caning by the Principal… Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

America Scenario #2: Peter won't be still in class, disrupts other students. Peter given HUGE doses of Ritalin… Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADHD. School gets extra money from state because Peter has a disability.

Thailand Scenario #3: Onwat breaks a window in his neighbor’s car and Khun Pa gives him a whipping with his belt. - Onwat is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

America Scenario #3: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor’s car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt. - Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse… Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang… State psychologist tells Billy’s sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison… Billy’s Mom has affair with psychologist.

Thailand Scenario #4: Alita gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school. - Alita shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.

America Scenario #4: Josh gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school. - Police called, Josh expelled from school for drug violations… Car searched for drugs and weapons.

Thailand Scenario #5: Rahib fails high school English. - Rahib goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.

America Scenario #5: Pedro fails high school English. - Pedro’s cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro’s English teacher… English banned from core curriculum… Pedro given diploma anyway… but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Thailand Scenario #6: Sarochai takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Songkran festival, puts them in a discarded Singha beer bottle and blows up a fire ant leaf nest. - Ants die.

America Scenario #6: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed. - ATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents and Johnny's siblings are removed from the home… computers confiscated. Johnny’s Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Thailand Scenario #7: Banwat falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Jahrut… Jahrut hugs him to comfort him. - In a short time, Banwat feels better and goes on playing.

America Scenario #7: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary… Mary hugs him to comfort him. - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison… Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

Thursday, April 24, 2003

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