Monday, June 17, 2002

Welcome to Jeeem & Louie's Weekly Restaurant Review!

Today we are reviewing:


New London, New Hampshire

Well, there you have it. Louie and I have ventured out into far away places. We decided to head West this time and sorta north. New London is well known in New Hampshire for housing the prig, the pristine, the erudite, the right-wing, the beau monde. Ah hell, we call em' R-I-C-H with a capital $. This is an interesting little community of the college preppy types and their parents who rarely rub shoulders with the proletarians such as myself. It's a college town, housing the beautiful campus of Colby-Sawyer. Just down the road in Sunapee, lives the Tellarico family, their son better known as Steven Tyler of the popular rock band, Aerosmith. Steve owns a place on Lake Sunapee and can be seen often in the quaint little town of New London.

All interesting history to the side, Louie and I loosened our belts and sauntered on into MacKenna's where we seated ourselves in a sunny booth looking out on the beautiful expanse of asphalt parking lot at New London Shopping Center. This is where the sister store of Cricenti's sits, for those of you who were wondering. We were soon greeted by ......yet another.....gorgeous waitress. Nope, no green eyes this time. Just a long, long, long, lonnnnnnnnnng, ponytail. Ahem....back to the review.

I shamefully ordered the seafood combination plate (I hate change), a garden salad with blue cheese (told ya I hate change) and decided to get wild and ordered a coke float with vanilla ice cream. Louie ordered the baked haddock, homemade mashed potatoes (complete with lumps) with gravy, green beans and a salad with (you guessed it) Italian dressing. Louie got wild and ordered a decaf coffee. Our salads came out quickly and were .....well, salads. The rolls Ms. Ponytail brought out were absolutely wonderful. They were wheat rolls, hot from the oven (or microwave) and had a taste of honey to them. I ended up eating Louie's roll and he asked two waitresses, Ms. Ponytail and a rather young cherub with an apron, if he could have some more rolls because I ate his. We ended up with four of them and I chowed down again. Man, were these suckers good!

The meal portion was a little on the chintzy side if you ask me, but overall the quality was good. But hey, how the hell can you tell when everything is fried? Oh well. I scarfed up my fries and my shrimp, then turned to the clams. These were especially good. There was all of four scallops, bay size and two ity-bity triangles of haddock. Hey, I'm a big growing guy! I gotta EAT!

Louie was very, very happy with his meal and rated this one right up there with the best. Me? Well, I'm rushing things a bit. Ms. Ponytail came back and offered the dessert menu. I told Louie he was a cheap bastard cause he didn't buy any dessert for us at the last meal at George's Tick Farm in Plymouth. (I didn't mention to him that I couldn't have eaten another thing I was so least George's Tick Farm knows how to pile up the portions!) I got a good rise out of Louie by doing so and he caused quite the ruckus. Those New Londonites will be talking about us for weeks to come! He still declined the dessert and I showed him how to do it up right.

I ordered the Strawberry-Rhubarb Pie Ala Mode. Ms. Ponytail smiled a grand smile, congratulated me on my choice and said to me in a sultry voice, "Can I heat it for you?"

Oh baby!

Can you ever! Ha! So, I knew it then.....she wanted me.

So, thinking quickly, I sprinkled some luciferin on her while she was standing there (Firefly powder to you pun intended) and could immediately see her signal was different than mine! You see, Louie asked her if she was married and she said no. Then he asked her if she WANTED to get married and she said no, never again. Another victim of the Sucky American Marriage. Too bad the luciferin wore off so quickly, maybe I'd have had a chance.

The Strawberry-Rhubarb Pie with the huge chunk of vanilla on it, heated by Ms. Ponytail herself, just wasn't enough. I gotta give this place a lower rating just on the infinitesimal portions alone. Louie raved about the place, but I think some of the luciferin musta gotten on him. I tipped her adequately for the pie warming maneuver though.

I rate MacKenna's Restaurant a **** four star rating, ignoring Louie's pleads of unfairness. After all, it's my damn laptop, not his. Stay tuned for next week....Cya then!



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