Ahhhh.....

The wonders of drinking and blogging....

Beer Chang, six-point-four on the liqtor scale.

-Jeeem-

Have you ever seen this sign?   You're more likely to see it in Western countries than in Asia.  

Do you understand what it means?  Most likely most people don't, but they think it's funny so they post pictures of it on the Internet as gags and jokes.  

But, it's really a serious issue!

You see, here in Asia...off the touristy path...you'll find the real deal...What Asia is really all about.  

Part of that reality is squat toilets...like what I have in my cottage here in Ban Klong Tong Nûea, Southern Thailand.

Step off the touristy path and this is what you're gonna find.  Ridiculous you say?  Well, actually it has been well documented that Asian people knew a thing or two about...well, pooping. 

Chalk it up to science once again...Squatting actually facilitates pooping, whereas sitting can end up making you constipated.  No wonder people in the West are often uptight.  

Anyway, get a bunch of foreigners together who've visited Asia a couple times and those assholes come up with something like this....

Well, I guess you can forget about getting your information from HoboTraveler.com since they are just a bunch of NOOBS who don't know anything about pooping in Asia.   The fools have you facing the WRONG WAY!

I mean...for chrissakes!  Would YOU wanna be caught pooping in the wrong direction?  I mean just THINK of the repercussions!  

For IDIOT information on traveling to foreign countries, for total morons: 

Visit: HoboTravelerNOOB.com

But, now that you've gotten the idea what this squatting thing is all about, imagine for a second you're an Asian guy or gal who's never visited the West...You end up in Grand Central Station in New York and you've gotta take a dump.  

Jeeez...

First off, for anyone...even a Westerner like me who's lived most of his life in the West...who the hell would even THINK of using a bathroom in Grand Central Station?  

Just a thought...

(Hey Ma!  I went to New York and got Trucked in the Arectum by a bunch of Trainvestabules who had Strapondilfoes!)

But, the point here is the Asian dude or duddette who gets off the Oriental Express...enters a Western toilet...and spots oneahthose Western sit-down jobbys.  

WTF? (add incredulously blank stare)

Okay...maybe you've heard about these monstrosities on...uh, YouTube, Yahoo, Letterman, Conan (gotcha), Fox News, Google Earth....

But, here it is:
...staring you right in your slanty-eyed, yellow-skinned, tsunami-ravaged ass.  

Sowhatayagonnado?  

"I ain't puttin' my cream-colored, pristine, globular slanty-ass down on that Caucasian porcelain!  Nuh-uh!..........................Bitch got disease!"

So, they climb their ratty-asses up on top o' that bad-boy, puttin' their dirty ass feets on the toilet seat and squirmin' all around and shit.  An's that mutha fukin toylet seet, be rockin' and movin' and shit...and eventually gonna be all broke and shit!  

So, they put up one of those cool logos I began this blog with...so's those slanty-eyed-bitch-dawgs'll get the fuckin' message, yo!

Remember dawg.  Yo fuk wit us and put yo dirty feets on our twalets, we be puttin' caps in yo ass mutha facka!

Yo...


-Jeeem-

If you've been reading my other posts, you know how much time I've invested in getting the employment position at the school near to where I live.  But, for months I was wondering if I'd have to leave the country, as jobs appeared few and far between here.  

When I first arrived here in Southern Thailand in July of 2004, it wasn't three months before my damn phone was practically ringing off the hook at my home on Soi three, with people asking me to teach them English.  Sometimes I'd get ten to fifteen calls a day.  I turned down all of them since my free time is important to me...a kickback from a time I hit rock bottom from working too many hours in the states.  

Since then, mostly the requests have died down as people discovered I wasn't interested in teaching privately.  I did take an advanced English job twice a week on Tuesday and Thursday, teaching two hours a night in Ban Thung Lung, but gave up that job since the students were too lazy and wouldn't even do simple homework assignments.  

Thai's, in comparison to people from the West, are incredibly lazy.  They often work long hours, but the work they produce is typically second rate and sloppy.  

This morning, for some reason, the requests began again.  Right out of the blue, beginning at nine in the morning, I received a phone call from a recruiter at a school in Songkhla who saw my resume online.  Then, minutes after telling him I was already committed, I received another call from another school.  But, the real shocker was yet to come.

I left home to go to the local store and pick up a few things.  The proprietors there know me well and I do a lot of business there...besides the fact I've taught English to both of their children.  The mother, who typically runs the store in the morning hours, can be very annoying at times since she always takes so long to finally bag my groceries and finish the sale.  This morning was no different, but with a twist.  

She was talking on one of her many cell phones she keeps in her cash drawer.  She rents phones out for three or four baht a minute and also uses a phone to transfer credits rather than have to sell phone cards outright.  

I was getting impatient and began bagging my own groceries and counting out the exact change when she suddenly handed the phone to me.  "What?"  Who in the hell could this be?  

On the phone was some Thai guy, struggling to speak English...but, it didn't take me long to figure out he was asking me if I would teach English...either to him or to his kids.  I refused and told him I was sorry but I was in a hurry and gave the phone back to the woman, paid my bill and left.  

The only thing I can think of is he either saw me at the store or saw me pulling up at the store and called the woman to talk to me.  Before I had left she asked me for my phone number and I said to her in my crude Thai that I couldn't remember my number.  I wanted to tell her I don't give my number out, but couldn't figure out how to say it. 

Three job offers in less than one hour after months of trolling for open employment positions.  When it rains, it truly does pour.  

-Jeeem-

Should have posted this eon's ago but as I mentioned earlier, I've had trouble with getting the photos off my digital camera until I can purchase a card reader.  Luckily though, I took some photos with my mobile phone too, last time I was in Georgetown, Penang, Malaysia.  

This is the Jaya Restaurant I've raved about so many times.  Just down the road a piece from the Oriental Hotel, on Penang Road.  The place was recommended to me by one of the employees at the Oriental, which surprised me as the Oriental has their own restaurant next door...albeit a tad expensive and only open in the evening hours.  

This is a lousy photo...but readable, showing the address.  

 

And this photo was taken from my table, showing the view out on the street.  The last time I was in Georgetown was latter March and I'll be going again in June, before my current visa expires on June 20th.  I'm looking forward to the trip if not for the Jaya, just the ambiance of Penang, a very enjoyable place to be.  

My last trip I was eating at the Jaya when I was approached by two rather pretty young girls doing a survey for college.  Something to do about some famous rice dish the Jaya served.  

"Well, while the Jaya is definitely my favorite restaurant, I'm not really a big fan of rice...shocking, I know...being I live in Asia.  Ha!"

"You know, the Jaya is a very, very famous restaurant!"  

"Well, no...I didn't know that but I can surely see why.  While I was living in China, there were so, so many restaurants...but, our trick was to walk the streets looking for one that was packed with people...those were always the best.  Same goes for the Jaya I see!"  

"Yes, I'm not an early riser but I hear tell people are lined up outside in the early morning waiting for it to open...to get the freshest roti canai!"

The giggly girl was originally from Singapore and had definite Chinese characteristics.  The other girl, a Muslim, rather quiet and reserved...typical for a Muslim woman, was actually from Southern Thailand and knew the area where I lived.  

Anyway, we had a pleasant chat and learned a little about one another.  People are very friendly and pleasant in Penang.  I hope to get some more photos on my next trip and hopefully post some different views of Georgetown for you. 

-Jeeem- 

For the past three weeks at least, this is what it has looked like here...at THREE O'CLOCK IN THE AFTERNOON!  

I've always loved thunderstorms.  They're so ominous and foreboding...giving me a sense of security when I'm home and safe.  It's difficult to explain really, but they always give me a good feeling inside.  They're exciting!  Mother nature at her best.  

It's 11:38 a.m. right now as I'm typing this and already I can see the clouds gathering to the north and the northeast..."When the wind is from the North...man should not go forth.  When the wind is from the East...tis' not fit for man nor beast."  Makes sense when you hear an old timer say, "Gonna be a rough one they say...ayup!  A Nor'Easter's on it's way!"  

No different here in Asia.  I've watched as storms approach from the West (This is the Best) and the South (...blows the fly right into the fish's mouth) and they are pussy cats compared to the Nor'Easter's here.   Well, maybe...just maybe Portsmouth, Virginia was comparable.  

I think that's the deal...living near or on the ocean.  In Portsmouth, Virginia...when I was living in the barracks at Portsmouth Naval Regional Medical Center back in 1979, I was right on the Elizabeth River...a tributary that was only minutes from the big blue.  I'd arrived back home after attending a "Journey" concert up in Newport News and it was about six p.m.  The sky, as I remember it, was almost pitch black and looking out my dorm window I could see lightning flashes touching down for miles and miles.  It was awesome.  

Here in Southern Thailand, looking out a window during a thunderstorm is NOT advisable.  Just weeks ago I was preparing to shut down my computer when a storm hit suddenly, and my router was struck by some finger lightning that zapped in through my upstairs window.  My Internet connection was out for six days before a TOT technician made it out here.  

Curiously, the storms here almost always come from the North, the East or the Northeast.  Only rarely do they approach from the South or the West and when they do they never really amount to much.  So, lately I've learned to get all my traveling, shopping, errands, etc., done in the early hours rather than in the afternoon, lest I end up driving home in a soaking rain.  


-Jeeem-

If you haven't read the post below this one, it might be helpful to do so first...

No, you can't stop corruption in Thailand, so don't even freaking bitch about it.  

I had asked the school for an advance on my salary since I'd run out of money.  My last salary from OLC on March 3rd was not for the amount I was supposed to receive and I had a start date at Songsaeng of May 1st, leaving me with a measly amount of baht to live on for three months.  Plus the fact my trip to Penang was expensive and on top of all that...I was forced to attend to a motorcycle repair I'd put off for way too long...the thing finally breaking down.  

This wasn't a problem for them and since they knew my work permit was going through, they called me last Friday to come into the school to pick it up.  They called me at eleven in the morning and said "be here at 2:00 p.m." what I call lately..."The prime time for a thunder shower..." and I wasn't wrong.  

I drove the short distance to the school in a rain slicker, the rain coming down in sheets.  When I got there, I wasn't surprised to find Juliet in a rather large huff...

"We need your passport!  We have to get the paperwork to the labor office and we will have to send the required paperwork to the Teachers Council of Thailand for your teachers license!"

Standing there in the office, dripping wet, a small pool of rain-water beginning to gather at my feet, I slowly put on my best and most sarcastically evil grin.  

"Well, that's funny.  YOU told me that private schools don't have to submit paperwork to the Teachers Council of Thailand in Bangkok for a foreigners teachers license."  Whenever I'm right, Juliet just acts like she never heard what I said...but I wasn't about to let this slide...no way.  I had her and she knew it.  

"Do you remember what I told you in early March about Patong Wittaya School?  I told you they never listened to me and it ended up costing them a lot of money.  Juliet, I sent the PDF form for the teachers license in an e-mail to you the first week in March but you never printed it out.  So, after three frustrating weeks trying to impress upon you the urgency of getting the paperwork into Bangkok, I finally had to go out and purchase a printer myself so I could print the form out.  And where is that form now...almost two months later?  It's still in your folder."

I was careful with this, as you have to be careful with Thai's...they lose too much face and you'll have an enemy for life.  But, I got my point across and was pleased with myself.  Lucky for them (and me, since it was still pouring outside) I had my passport with me.  I've learned to grab all my paperwork any time I have to deal with them because invariably they will ask for something I don't have and I'd have to make the trip back home to fetch it.  

But, the real clincher was yet to come.  

I received my salary advance, signed the typical Thailand paperwork, which is always reams of paper (Thai's LOVE paperwork), and thought I was all set to go back home.  Then Juliet said to me...

"We have your work schedule now.  You will be working twenty-six hours a week (that number changed later to twenty-nine) and your first working day will be May 16th, a Monday.  So, you will receive a reduced salary in May and the normal thirty-thousand baht (30,000 baht) the end of June."

"What?" was my...rather loudly expressed...reply.  

Not only had Juliet changed my start date, which was printed on my original contract, she had informed me my salary would now be reduced because of my late start date and I would not be receiving the thirty-four thousand baht (34,000 baht) originally printed on my signed contract...A contract, that copies of which had been distributed to the Royal Thai Consulate in Penang, Malaysia, the Labor Office in Songkhla and was due to be sent to the Teachers Council of Thailand in Bangkok.  

"Are you NUTS?  You can't have me sign a contract for a May 1st start date and 34,000 baht and then two months later change that contract on me verbally!  That's highly illegal!"

I was fucking livid.  My brain was screaming at me to shut the hell up and calm down but my natural American aggressiveness that goes well beyond assertiveness was kicking in big time.  Meanwhile, Juliet had a worried look on her face and was on the phone talking to somebody higher on the totem pole.  The "Farang" was becoming unmanageable.  

To many of you reading this, no doubt it just seems straight forward to you.  But, this is Thailand...still a third-world country and listed # 78 on the 2010 International Corruption Perception Index...their rating closer to Somalia's than Denmark's #1 rating.  Hell, even the United States is low on the score, at a pitiful #22.  Thai's think nothing of screwing a foreigner, let alone one another.  


Luckily for me, Juliet remained on the phone for some time.  Enough time for me to get into my head and reason with myself.  You see, I knew I was lucky to have gotten this job and I didn't want to jeopardize it by acting out in anger...something you just don't do in this culture.  Assertiveness is a necessary attribute in the U.S. but it is NOT an attribute here.  


After another brief discussion, I played one of my acting roles...that of being befuddled.  I simply said one, short, simple sentence that basically resolved the whole thing..."I think I need to see a lawyer."


Thai's are terribly afraid of the legal process and wicked afraid of lawyers.  I was ushered upstairs to "Frowny Face's" office and was in there for about twenty minutes.  I stuck to my stance and I acted pleasant.  


"Well, yes...I understand your views but this is a legal situation.  I've already signed a legal document, copies of which have been submitted to the Royal Thai Consulate, the Labor Office, Thai Immigration and the Teachers Council of Thailand.  If you want to change the contract now, I will need the advice of a lawyer in order to understand the correct way to proceed here, as what you are attempting to do is very illegal."


Basically, I won.  The only thing not changed was the reduced salary for the month of May, since I was going to start late on the 16th, rather than the 1st.  Frowny face, the assistant manager of the school, knew I was correct but I think she took me for being some sort of pushover, which I am not.  But, my take on this whole thing was comparable to my carefully negotiating a land-mine laden piece of ground without getting my legs blown off.  


Living in Southeast Asia is certainly not for the faint of heart.  

-Jeeem-

It’s about time I played a bit of catch-up and brought my happenings up to date for all you who actually bother to read this stuff I crank out. 

I’m sick to death of working for English teaching agencies here in Thailand since most of them try and cheat you as best they can, pay you late, or offer you minimal salaries while they are making money from the schools hand-over-fist.  So, after working my last job for the lousy, corrupt, disorganized OLC agency in Songkhla, I swore I’d never contract with another agency again unless I absolutely had to do it as a last ditch type of thing. 

A considerable time before my last week working at Songsaeng Commercial School in Ban Thung Lung, I began looking at job offers here in the South of Thailand and found pretty slim pickings. 

It has been rumored for a long time, Filipino English teachers are being hired by many Thai schools here in the South, simply because they can be had cheaply. 

While Native English Speakers from the U.S., Canada, England, and Australia are getting minimum salaries of 28,000 baht to 40,000 baht depending on their experience, credentials, and where they are living, Filipinos are pulling in salaries from 6000 baht a month to 10,000 baht a month.  So, if money was a big issue with your school, who would you be looking to hire?

I decided to approach the school I was working for, Songsang Commercial School in Ban Thung Lung, and ask them if they might consider hiring me privately.  I already knew the school was fed up with OLC teaching agency, so I banked on my chances since I have lived here in this area, near the school, for better than six years. 

About a week before my last working day at Songsaeng, I was told the school was interested in hiring me.  I was excited, but I’ve lived in Thailand long enough to know better than to begin putting all my eggs in one basket.  So, I continued to send my resume out to other schools who were hiring foreigners out-right.  Then, after my last working day, I was notified the school wanted to have a sit-down meeting with me. 

My appointed “foreigner representative,” Jahrut Mahjanwat, who goes by the nickname “Juliet,” was present at this meeting…and as things go, we never got to meet with the big boss, the school manager, Arunrat Rattanaphumi.  She was just too busy.  So, we met with Juliet’s immediate boss…a woman whose name always escapes me, but whom I’ve nicknamed “Frowny Face,” since she almost never smiles. 

The meeting lasted about twenty minutes.  I kept things simple and bowed to the school’s fear of their hiring me and my disappearing somewhere along the line, placing them in a very difficult position.  Thai’s often want guarantees, never quite understanding that there are no guarantees in life.   

My current salary under the employment of OLC agency, had been 32,000 Thai baht, but I often got cheated out of the exact amount I was supposed to get paid.  So, I told the assistant manager I’d agree to work for one year at 30,000 baht with the understanding if things worked out well and the school wanted me to sign a contract for another year, my salary would be increased, along with other, extra bonuses.  You see, it's not Rocket Science...English teaching agencies like OLC, Stairway English, Teacha agency, and others, get better than 100,000 baht a month for providing Native English speakers as teachers to a particular school...with the extra guarantee they will handle all the paperwork (work permit, visa, etc...), which most schools don't want to deal with.  But, I pointed out to my new employers at Songsaeng Commercial School, the incredible savings they would incur if they were to hire a foreigner like myself, outright, rather than pay their money to an agency.

We shook hands on the agreement and I left.  Six days later I was called at home to come to the school and sign my contract. 

I live very, very close to the school.  I travel by my motorcycle and it takes me on average, only five to seven minutes to get to or from the school.  It’s very convenient, so I was very excited about being hired outright by this school, which is a well-known school in the area, of which I am a very well-known foreign teacher, having taught English in this village for over six years. 

I arrived at the school and walked into the main office.  Juliet was already there and ushered me to sit down.  She presented me with a one-page contract that was simple and concise, but bothered me in its simplicity.  I would much rather sign a contract that is a three-pager and covers many issues, than a one page contract which only addresses the start date and the salary.  

Ah, the salary.   

I quickly scanned the contract, which was in both English and Thai, and noticed the stated salary was 34,000 baht, not 30,000, the amount we had originally agreed upon in our singular meeting six days ago.   

But, I ask you…what would you do?  You’re expecting a monthly salary quote of 30,000 baht a month but you see a quote on the employment contract of 34,000 baht? 

Actually, in real life, I began to address this, saying...

“Uh…the amount…we said…uh, oh…never mind…Mai pen rai (no big deal).  A little voice in my American capitalist brain said, “Are you fucking nuts?  Shut the hell up!”   

The start date on the employment contract was as I figured…May 1^st, 2011.  All was well in employment land…I signed the contract, copies were made and I left sailing on euphoria. 

I ran right to the packy and bought three beer Chang’s to celebrate…Beer Chang - - - 6.4% on the Richter scale. 

But even as I drove my bike to the store, I felt that typical uneasy feeling, that doubt...which I promptly ushered away.  Life was good…don’t fucking ruin it Jim. 

The next two months were a mish-mash of utter hell.  I did my research about what the requirements for the Teachers Council of Thailand, the Songkhla labor office and the Royal Thai Consulate in Georgetown, Penang, Malaysia were, paperwork-wise, and passed on my newly gleaned information to Juliet, whom I was beginning to understand, as beautiful as she was…she was also a stupid, ignorant, bull-headed Thai woman who didn’t listen to anything except her own verbose bullshit.   

I had cautioned her previously, telling her the massive amount of wasted time and money Patong Wittaya School, where I'd worked previously on a private basis, had incurred from not listening to me about the same process, but naturally…Thai’s just don’t listen to foreigners.  So, we went through two months of wasted time and money, which...luckily for me was at the cost to the school....not me. 

Once we finally got to the labor office with the correct paperwork after Juliet drug her heels for weeks (mainly because she didn’t understand what to do and of course wouldn’t listen to me), I had possession of the coveted WP-3 form, which I gathered, along with the paperwork Songsaeng School was supposed to provide (again, after weeks of prodding and probing Juliet) and took to the Royal Thai Consulate in Georgetown, Penang, Malaysia, which is always a rather expensive endeavor. 

I returned to Thailand several thousand baht poorer, but with my coveted 90-day Non-immigrant B visa.  Then, to make a terribly long story short, Juliet proceeded to put off other things until the last minute, forcing the labor office to require that we re-submit our paperwork again…Which brings us to the present.  

We’ve now been to the labor office with all the same, repetitive paperwork due to Juliet’s screw-up and delay, and we’re awaiting confirmation for my work permit, which should be issued by the beginning of next week…the 2^nd of May, 2011. 

That’s the story up to now…BUT!  Stay tuned for the real shocker, which happened yesterday, Friday – April 29, 2011. 

-Jeeem-

This is my fake International Driver's License.  I made it over a two month period, using only Internet searches, Photoshop and images I had on my computer.

I had the opportunity to use it yesterday, while on my way into Ban Phrue to purchase some medication.  

Usually, when I travel into Ban Phrue, I never see a Thai cop or a road block, so I suppose I've become lax.  This time I was just passing their local mosque on the main route 4 and not paying attention, was startled when a Thai cop suddenly stepped out into the traffic and hailed me over.  

It was too late for me to play my innocent game of "speed up, zip into the far right fast lane passing the road block and pretend I never saw him," so I pulled over to the Thai cops incessant, moronic, pointing at me and yelling, "You!  You!"

He approached me like the asshole authority figure he was and loudly barked at me in Thai, which was no surprise, since very, very few Thai cops know any English.  

I knew what he was asking for though...so with my hands shaking a bit, I reached for my wallet...thankful I had my fake International Driver's license I'd Photoshopped in there, but still worried something would go wrong.  

I tried everything I could to disguise the fact my hands were shaking...I was desperate...I couldn't afford to have my motorcycle impounded or end up in jail.  So, I did my best to act nonchalant like this sort of thing happened to me every day.  


I'm pretty sure I botched that part.  


The Thai cop snatched my wallet from me, not allowing me to take the ID out, the typical response of a Thai person in authority when dealing with a "Farang" or foreigner...and peered at every card, piece of paper and picture I had in there.  Obviously more interested in the money compartment than the rest of the wallet.

Suddenly he looked over my open wallet and blurted out a string of Thai.  I knew he was asking me "Where's the money?"  


"Mai Mee," I replied, meaning "I don't have any..." to which his face dropped and he looked up at me with a frown and said, "Auck Bai!" or "Get out of here!" and I didn't waste time leaving.  


Typically, the guy wanted a bribe...but knew I didn't have money from my empty wallet...(My money was in the side pocket of my shorts).  


The guy never checked my motorcycle registration...my next Photoshop project.


-Jeeem-

And yet another snake in the house...

This one, as you can see, is rather large also.  I'm guessing about five feet long.  It's a cobra, although I'm not exactly sure what species.  

I raised a bit of a ruckus and it's hood expanded, although it never really straightened out and eventually disappeared into the crack you see, under the stone step.  I was a bit unnerved about this, since I had no way of knowing if it was gone from the house or not...will just have to wait and see.  

Boo Boo and Puppy are awful curious and have been downstairs scouting the area, so if it comes back out, I'll know.  Meanwhile the monsoon-like rains continue to come in the late afternoon. 


-Jeeem-

Another snake in my cottage...

I was washing my dishes in my kitchen and placed some dirty ones in the wash water to soak.  I then went to my kitchen table to work on my Sodoku puzzles while the dishes were soaking, when suddenly Puppy started whimpering.  Usually I ignore him but this time there was a certain tone to his whimpering that caught my attention and as I began to turn around to see what he was whimpering at, he suddenly started barking incessantly, looking directly under the bench where I kept my wash basin.  

By now, after at least four years living here, I know that's a sign I've got a visitor and I immediately tensed up.  I peered under the bench where I keep my rice bucket and some odd pots and pans and immediately saw a snake's face hoovering there, watching Puppy and I... 

This isn't just one of Jeeem's typical snake postings though...this son-uv-a-gun was a good six to seven feet long...closer to seven.

I've got most of the "snake eviction" on video but for the last week I've been online hassling with the Canon Support techs, as I can't seem to get my pictures off my camera.  But, as soon as I do I'll post the video for you.  I might have to dump some of my previous shots taken in Georgetown, Penang, Malaysia during my last visa run, as I've found in the past that if the memory card is full, I can't upload photos until I take a few off...and that video surely filled things up fast. 


Puppy was a pain in my ass during the whole event, as I'd have the snake almost to the door and Puppy would come in and lunge at it, forcing it back inside...but eventually I managed to keep Puppy back and usher the snake outdoors.  As I poked and prodded with my trusty mop handle, brave little Boo Boo was sitting up on the stairs watching everyone.  Oh, and Chok?  Ha!  Nowhere to be seen.  Chok got one glimpse at the size of that thing and she was GONE. 

Besides the reticulated python that I posted about previously, which I found up the road in the village, this is undoubtedly the largest snake that's been inside my cottage to date.  I've been searching online for days, for a picture and name of the snake as well as a picture of a new bird I saw the other morning out on the Mangosteen tree just outside my upstairs window, but, I'm having better luck with the bird...a Chestnut winged Cuckoo, I think.


The snake had a large neck in proportion to the rest of its body, and two small projections on its lower jaw behind its mouth...almost like little gills..like on a mud puppy or salamander.  Weird.  Not sure if the thing was poisonous or not but I surely wasn't taking any chances.  Easily six feet and most likely six and a half from the tip of its nose to the end of its tail.  A good three inches in diameter too.  

Scary.  


I had the chance to smash it several times, but I've given that up...I figure Karma will kick me right in my ass for that.  Besides, the thing was just looking for a cool place to hang out and I've come to the conclusion finally, that I've got to learn to co-exist with these visitors of mine in a more friendly manner.  Lately, although it's the hot, dry season, we've had almost monsoon-like rains here, which I've read have been worse in the deep south of Pattani, Yala and Narathiwat.  Severe flooding there.  The Tong river up the road did flood last week, but then it really doesn't take much for that river to reach flood stage.  


As a consequence I've found a dozen or so scorpions in the bathroom, as well as a couple centipedes...but have wondered where my bathroom frogs went???  

After my snake eviction, I figured the mystery out.  


-Jeeem-