Jim's quiet musings . . .

Have you ever seen this sign?   You're more likely to see it in Western countries than in Asia.  

Do you understand what it means?  Most likely most people don't, but they think it's funny so they post pictures of it on the Internet as gags and jokes.  

But, it's really a serious issue!

You see, here in Asia...off the touristy path...you'll find the real deal...What Asia is really all about.  

Part of that reality is squat toilets...like what I have in my cottage here in Ban Klong Tong Nûea, Southern Thailand.

Step off the touristy path and this is what you're gonna find.  Ridiculous you say?  Well, actually it has been well documented that Asian people knew a thing or two about...well, pooping. 

Chalk it up to science once again...Squatting actually facilitates pooping, whereas sitting can end up making you constipated.  No wonder people in the West are often uptight.  

Anyway, get a bunch of foreigners together who've visited Asia a couple times and those assholes come up with something like this....

Well, I guess you can forget about getting your information from HoboTraveler.com since they are just a bunch of NOOBS who don't know anything about pooping in Asia.   The fools have you facing the WRONG WAY!

I mean...for chrissakes!  Would YOU wanna be caught pooping in the wrong direction?  I mean just THINK of the repercussions!  

For IDIOT information on traveling to foreign countries, for total morons: 

Visit: HoboTravelerNOOB.com

But, now that you've gotten the idea what this squatting thing is all about, imagine for a second you're an Asian guy or gal who's never visited the West...You end up in Grand Central Station in New York and you've gotta take a dump.  

Jeeez...

First off, for anyone...even a Westerner like me who's lived most of his life in the West...who the hell would even THINK of using a bathroom in Grand Central Station?  

Just a thought...

(Hey Ma!  I went to New York and got Trucked in the Arectum by a bunch of Trainvestabules who had Strapondilfoes!)

But, the point here is the Asian dude or duddette who gets off the Oriental Express...enters a Western toilet...and spots oneahthose Western sit-down jobbys.  

WTF? (add incredulously blank stare)

Okay...maybe you've heard about these monstrosities on...uh, YouTube, Yahoo, Letterman, Conan (gotcha), Fox News, Google Earth....

But, here it is:
...staring you right in your slanty-eyed, yellow-skinned, tsunami-ravaged ass.  

Sowhatayagonnado?  

"I ain't puttin' my cream-colored, pristine, globular slanty-ass down on that Caucasian porcelain!  Nuh-uh!..........................Bitch got disease!"

So, they climb their ratty-asses up on top o' that bad-boy, puttin' their dirty ass feets on the toilet seat and squirmin' all around and shit.  An's that mutha fukin toylet seet, be rockin' and movin' and shit...and eventually gonna be all broke and shit!  

So, they put up one of those cool logos I began this blog with...so's those slanty-eyed-bitch-dawgs'll get the fuckin' message, yo!

Remember dawg.  Yo fuk wit us and put yo dirty feets on our twalets, we be puttin' caps in yo ass mutha facka!

Yo...


-Jeeem-