My pals Ernest and Dwayne...

Ugly?

Just what is ugly?

Aimee is wrestling with this subject as I speak...My opinion? Ugly is as ugly feels (or something like that)....

Ernest describes himself as:

"Better looking than most, however I don't broadcast this"

whereas Dwayne states:

"I'd describe myself as 'irresistible' but I keep em' at bay cause of my dirty shirt."

You see, both these guys see themselves as "a touch above the rest" so....no matter what "society" says, they are at one (and above) with their looks!

I mentioned to them that "society" considered them "UGLY" and this is their response:

Ernest: "Well, Society can just *iss my *oyal *ss!"

Dwayne: "Snivelling *sswipes...what the hell do they know? They can *uck my *ick."

Whew!

-Jeeem-
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I was out surfing for new and interesting blogs today and randomly, over the period of about ten minutes, this is what I found:

"The Emotional Wastebasket"
"Flirting With Suicide"
"Delusional.bitch"
"Kill Your Boyfriend"

Upon investigating these scary blogs, which were from all over the world, I found all of them to be authored by "bored, miserable" people, mostly in their teens to early twenties.

They spoke of boredom, hate, misery and depression.

Really depressed the hell out of me to read that crap....ten minutes was too long.

-Jeeem-
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I've always had an interest in visiting Vietnam and it's one country on my list of "Places to see and things to do." It's only a matter of time before I make the trip there. Meanwhile, the next best thing has been to visit some Vietnam blogs...

One of my favorites has been "Our Man In Hanoi" which is a site that not only has some beautiful pictures, but is really a very interesting read too. While reading his blog, I was surprised to see yet another "Mooncake" article. OMIH writes:

"Another feature of this time of the year is the Moon Cake. It appears to be a real favourite with everyone and something of a treat but to western tastes it’s a little bizarre. You know those pork pies with the egg inside. Well imagine if the pork bit was replaced with chocolate but with the egg left intact. In addition the whole thing has a vaguely marzipan-like taste plus an unmistakeable hint of fried rice. All in all – not good."

I had to chuckle at this and quickly jot this information down for Aimee, who is collecting sensitive MoonCake information for some sort of sinister Halloween plan, no doubt.

OMIH also writes about a subject that I'd been thinking of blogging about, but couldn't seem to find the right angle. He writes:

"PS Slightly concerned. There’s a trail of ants leading to a USB port on my laptop. I have a feeling that my back home habit of eating lunch while using my computer has left a legacy of crumbs under my keyboard. Hopefully no serious damage will be caused. I’m hoping they’ll just clean up for me."

What a laid back dude! Heck, I've been hopelessly squishing the little pests as I see them, or fumigating them (and myself) with my handy-dandy can of KINCHO red (a water-based Aerosol insecticide).

These little ants seem to come from nowhere and they have totally infested my spotlessly clean house (NOT). They're the little red ones, or amber ones, which my ancient grandmother (god rest her soul) used to call....

PISS ANTS

As a kid I used to giggle to beat the band when she'd say piss ants, because I knew that "piss" was a so-called "bad" word (according to my mother).

"Piss ants" is one of those old sayings that seem to flourish in the southern U.S. I never really understood why they were called piss ants until one day when I was haplessly smashing them with my hand and finally noticed the awful smell my hand had undertook from said smashing. Although the smell was far from what "piss" is supposed to smell like, it was bad enough for me to learn my lesson...or so I'd thought.

So here I am, at my laptop computer, "haplessly smashing" once again, as the little piss ants begin to advance upon my USB port, also uttering another old saying my grandmother used....

"Well shit fire to save matches!"

-Jeeem-

This is undoubtedly the oddest thing I have ever seen once arriving in southern Thailand.

Kids, teens and adults alike....all adorned with a facefull of white powder. The boy pictured here is only minimally covered. I've seen some of my kids come into my class (especially after lunch, when they have had a chance to shower and put on some fresh powder) looking like mimes. It really sets you back on your heels if you've never seen it before.

Naturally, I had to ask about it and was told that Thai's strive to be "White, white, white," because in Thai culture...

"White is right and Brown is wrong."

I notice it mostly in the early morning while walking to school, right after lunch and in the late evening. It's comical to me, but perfectly natural to the Thai people. You even see Thai's on local T.V. program's adorned with powdered faces. Really odd!

But, not so odd when you think about it....my travels to the Philippines, although not as strange as the white powdered face thing, saw many of the middle and upper class Filipino women walking about in the bright sunny day with an umbrella. My old flame Celerina (or Cely to her friends) told me once, "It is important to us not to become too dark skinned as dark skinned people are associated with the labor class and islanders."

So too is the reason here in Thailand, or so it seems. The funny thing is being a Westerner and coming from a land that "promotes" darker skin to look beautiful....Products on the shelves like "Quick Tan" and other commercial skin darkening products....whereas here in Thailand, you see just the opposite on T.V., commercials promoting skin whitening products and underlying themes that the girl with the whiter skin seems to get the guys.

I never saw this when I was in Bangkok, but then Bangkok is a bit more upscale and westernized than southern Thailand. But, I'm assured by my friends here in the south who have more Thailand travel time under their belts, that the white powdery faces are everywhere in Thailand and certainly not restricted to the less civilized south.

-Jeeem-
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The old: “God I’m bored, but I still wanna post something” hoopla…

• Do not eat natural foods. I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
• When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
• The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
• Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
• There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead (this is REALLY true in southeast Asia).
• Life is sexually transmitted.
• An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
• If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool who said, "Quit while you're ahead?"
• Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
• The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
• Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for months.
• Some people are like Slinkies: not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
• Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
• Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder, no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
• All of us could take a lesson from the weather: It pays no attention to criticism.
• Why does a slight tax increase cost you $2500 while a substantial tax cut saves you $25?
• In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
• How is it one careless match can start a forest fire but it takes the whole box to start a campfire?

[Thanks to Deb, aka: Midnight lace]

-Jeeem-

Malacca...The Damn Truth!

This photo of the famous Strait was taken from high atop the old fort in Malacca, during my visit to Malaysia in May.

A little history:

The Strait of Malacca is perhaps the most important sea route in the world, carrying over 50,000 vessels per year through this narrow passage that form the main passageway between the Indian and Pacific oceans.

Okay....enough history. Here's the deal...I've got this thing about swimming (or at least setting foot) in the major waters of the world. To my credit, I've swam or set foot in the Philippine Sea, Andaman ocean, South China sea, Pacific, Atlantic and the Gulf of Mexico. So, it makes sense that being so close to such a famous body of water as the Straits of Malacca.....

Yep, I just had to do it.

Only problem was...dragging poor Annie into my little scheme.

Like a trooper, she went along with my idea, holding my camera in hand, poised on high (and dry) land.

More to follow.....

-Jeeem-

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See that? That's me way out there, knee deep in the Straits of Malacca!

Yep, I did it! Heh, heh....I REALLY did it!

By "Really" I mean I was S-T-U-C-K in the mud.

Minutes after Annie so graciously snapped this picture, I became stuck even worse....hip deep. Finally, after my pleading, Annie came to rescue me and ended up falling in the mud herself. Eventually some Portuguese restaurant owners ended up rescuing the "Stupid White Guy."

Annie and I lived to tell about it (although I think her version is less comical) and the two of us spent the rest of the afternoon hosing the mud off ourselves.
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This is me and "Big Ben" one of the Portuguese guys who lent a hand to rescue the "Stupid White Guy." Ben made a good point, saying I was lucky they were nearby, as the tide was coming in rapidly.
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This is my pal. His name is Mr. Soamboon Chlomusig. He speaks some pretty good English and operates one of the local stores here in our village, with his wife Wontip and daughter Watsanan.
-Jeeem-
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This is a picture of me and some of the local kids in my neighborhood. A good number of the kids around here are my students.
-Jeeem-
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