Pennies from heaven in Maryland and a trail of money in Kuala Lumpur.....*sigh* Mark and Charmaine are all the wealthier for it, meanwhile I trudge on to work today, the sky free of falling coins and the ground barren of currency covering my path. -Jeeem-

Chris from Blacktelescope.co.uk, aka Zebulon Mysterioso, aka Prof. Bernard Quatermass has finally surfaced again....This time to tell me sumthin I already know (but most everyone else doesn't) that I am nuts. Or, "A Complete Nutter," as the Scottish would have it. Nutter...hum, I like that. Matter of fact, I like european slang much better than our own.

"Bloody hell you do!"

"Ai's rite mate! An ef ya don like it, yeh can go feck yourself!"

Oh God. Now Peter's gonna read this and tell me I've mixed in a Lancashire accent, some Dutch and perhaps a sprinkle of Aussie or sumthin. Oh well. I still like the terms they use and I love that accent.

Well, if Chris thinks this stuff is nutter, he'll have a field day with the recent story I submitted to Banshee Studios for possible publication in their Lughnasahd issue short story contest coming this August. I submitted a short story written eons ago called, "Poor Mr. Ports." It's a story about my neighbor who commited suicide. It's a little, "OUT THERE," but I figured I'd give that one a try before resorting to my big guns. I'm currently looking for a market for big guns. If Banshee doesn't print the thing, I'll cut and paste it somewhere out in cyberville for all to join in on the, "Jeeem's a complete NUTTER," bandwagon.

Grit magazine finally sent back my story, "Gertrude the Duck," after keeping it well over two years. I would NOT recommend them for submission. I placed telephone calls to their Topeka, Kansas editorial department on at least six occasions and even followed through with photos, only to be led on time and time again. These were not "toll free" calls either! I was told, "Your story is on the editors desk" "We have a backlog" and other stalls, until finally I received the story back with an apology for keeping it so long. Hell, a rejection would have been better. Ah well, live and learn.

So, time to turn in for the night and let the keyboard cool down....a workday tomorrow. Welcome back Chris!

-Jeeem-

Welcome to Jeeem & Louie's Weekly Restaurant Review

Today we are reviewing

EAST & NORTH CHINESE RESTAURANT

Plymouth / Rumney, New Hampshire




Located just a stones throw off the north end of the traffic circle on Rt. 25 heading out of Plymouth is the fairly new, East & North Chinese Restaurant, formerly the Tenney Mountain Steak House. Louie and I arrived at about 11:50 a.m. and didn't have to fight for a table. Only one other couple were seated when we arrived and we were ushered to our table over looking the mountain ranges to the north of Plymouth. Louie was seated in Rumney and I in Plymouth. Louie swears his meal was better in Rumney and offered for me to join him there some day.

A bit confused are you? Well, don't be, for this restaurant is sitting right on the town line of both Plymouth and Rumney. Louie and I had the great fortune to be able to sit at a table which straddled the line. We were quickly waited upon by a young Chinese waiter wearing a black vest and pants. He poured tea for us and served us some water as we perused the menu. Nothing out of the ordinary here. Typical Chinese restaurant but lacking in the decor. Mandarin music was playing in the background all while we dined and the view of the mountains was beautiful.

I ordered the pork egg foo yung with house rice and house chicken wings. Louie ordered the Triple Delight with house rice and an egg roll. I should have ordered the Triple Delight. Triple delight is shrimp, scallop and vegetable in a white sauce, which looked delicious.....but then Louie was enjoying it from the much preferred Rumney side. I don't like change much, so I stuck with the egg foo yung, which proved to be okay but the gravy was less than I expected. They could learn a thing or two from China Garden in Bristol. The whole meal had a strong overtone of curry. Louie though it was five spice. Louie loved his Triple Delight and he didn't seem to skimp when it came to the egg roll either as one minute the egg roll was there and the next moment it was gonzo. The tea was ....tea. I ordered a Pepsi and it came out in a red dragon highball glass with a colorful umbrella on the straw and a little plastic monkey hanging on the edge of the glass. I was impressed.

With the bill came the complimentary Chinese Fortune Cookie. My fortune was as follows:

"You have a potential urge and the ability for accomplishment."

It is standard custom to always end these fortunes with, "IN BED," always making for a good laugh...HOWEVER, this is not cool with two guys.......

A potential urge.....hummm, like I gotta put something into it? Forget that.

Overall cost of the meal? Affordable, twenty bucks including the tip. I'd recommend it if you were starving to death and couldn't make it to Steve's Restaurant, which is another two or three miles up the road.

The Jeeem & Louie rating scale for this restaurant is a ****four star rating out of a possible ten stars. Last weeks review would have been a **two star rating for the Weirs Beach Smokehouse / Biker Hovel.

So, this ends another exciting restaurant review with Jeeem & Louie. Stay tuned as they explore New Hampshire's cheap-ass restaurants, coupons, senior citizen discounts and specials in hand! See ya next time!

Louie will be showing up soon and we will head out for lunch. I'm thinking Plymouth / Rumney area instead of the more populated city areas of Meredith and Laconia. My restaurant review should be posted by tomorrow at the latest.

Went through my usual Sunday ritual this morning.....pick up laundry, catch up on gossip, come home. I don't get out much so I rely on the small town gossip as a minor form of entertainment. Seems my gas powered acquaintance across the street, Bill and his revving chainsaw, got locked up recently for harassment. Welcome to a small New England community Bill...they don't do things here like they do in the West. I figured something was up cause he hasn't been around much in the past few days.

Joyce at the laundromat was accused of sleeping with another man but confirms it isn't her but someone who shares her namesake. Alice is drinking again and unhappy with her relationship. The flatlanders are flocking into the town now and one recently got tossed out on his duff when he chanced an argument with the indomitable Joyce, over a stained comforter. Seems I've been missing a lot lately.

Well I shall close for now as I have the serious business of a restaurant review to take on. Until later....-Jeeem-

A braai or braaivleis is a miniature version of a barn fire.

Braai is the Afrikaans word for burnt
Vleis is the Afrikaans word for meat

Boerewors:
Boere: afrikaans for farmer (The english refer to the dutchmen or harsh afrikaans people as boere, and what they actually mean is bastards)
wors: afrikaans for sausage ( it is a long sausage consisting of minced meat and mixed spices.....very tasty.

Eve and I stand around the braaivleis warming ourselves while chatting, braaing our meat. We eat it as it is done acompanied with salads and bread rolls.

I love this stuff....why o why didn't I decide to begin traveling earlier in life? I can't wait to experience South Africa and eat some bastard sausage while the damn barn is burning down.

-Jeeem-

I just returned from Cricenti's and the typical mystery has occurred....

THE MYSTERY OF THE MISSING ITEM

This always happens. I get home and it dawns on me that I'm missing an item. This time it is a tomato. That's it, one tomato. It's never a BIG item, it's always some little annoying item that is never worth getting back into my vehicle and returning to the store. I just couldn't imagine it....

"Uhhh, excuse me. I'm missing my tomato."

"What?

"My tomato. I got home and it's not in the bag."

"Oh, hold on."

"PRODUCE MANAGER! ISLE ONE."

(Jim slinks into himself, trying to disappear) You see, I live in a very small town and someone who goes all the way back to the grocery store for a missing tomato is right up there with a house fire. So, to save having my name on the front page of the local paper....

LOCAL MAN RETURNS, LOOKING FOR LOST TOMATO

I decided to let it go.

-Jeeem-

According to the Polyphasic Sleep Experiment (aka. Uberman sleep), caffeine messes with polyphasic sleep. Ya learn something every day. Think I'll go have a Jolt soda. -Jeeem-

Eve's Blogger is up to some tricks with dates, so we really don't know when her posts were made.....but anyway, supposedly yesterday she offers up a link for all interested to, "Visit South Africa," and once you arrive at the iafrica.com website, you are faced with this headline.....

HANSIE CRONJE DIES IN PLANE CRASH

Hummm. Subliminal message there? Jeeez Eve!

Is it just me, or are a lot of planes crashing lately? Funny how you notice stuff like that after traveling a bit. I happened to notice the three major airline crashes in Hong Kong and China just months after having flown to Beijing, China. I suppose if your ticket is up, you're gonna go....one way or another. I don't wanna go that way though! Can I put in my request for a very silent, easy and quick death while making love? Ha! What a way to go!

Well, speaking of sex.....er, genitals.....er, uh, .....tampons. Was I speaking of tampons? Well, anyways.....while surfing a bit further on the iafrica.com site, I wandered into a page on health and fitness. It amazes me, the question and answer series on some websites. The things people ask and the answers these people get....kinda reminds me of Ann Landers. Remember her? Well, anyway....it goes like this:

Question
Is it possible to get a tampon stuck inside? After using the new compact tampon in a hurry, I'm not sure if I took the first one. This happened a few nights ago.

Answer
Yes it is, and if it is stuck inside it is very important to get it removed.

Oh my God. No shit Sherlock. My God...I wonder what that person is paid. That's the job I need. A columnist in an international rag, answering questions about....hummmm, ahhhh......TRAVEL! That's it! It could go like this:

Question
I want to travel to Borneo, what should I do?

Answer
Buy a ticket and go.

I'd make millions and I'd be able to hop a plane whenever I want and visit all my blogger friends. What do you think? What would my title be? "Ask Jeeem, the Travel Guy"

I think I've had too much coffee again. Speaking of which, remember the tea I brought back from China? Well, for those of you who are not sitting in front of your computers waiting for my next post and watching my silly weather map, I brought back two types of tea from Beijing. One was Emperor's tea....reputed to be the only type of tea served to some such emperor of some such dynasty. The other was the very popular Longjing tea. I gave the emperor's tea to my friend and colleague, Susan Conboy. The other I kept for myself. Neither Susan or myself can stomach the stuff. It's not so much the taste, it's the caffeine content. The stuff is lethal. I've read countless books about the English and Irish and their love for tea and now I finally understand.

They are all addicted.

-Jeeem-

Well I'll be damned....I didn't know the darn map would change every day when I put it on my blog! So, now I guess I've got a up-to-date weather window for all to see what is happening in the U.S., Canada and Mexico. Cool. We're supposed to get more thunder boomers this afternoon so keep an eye on it....I know you will...cause without a doubt, all of you are just sitting there, in front of your computers, waiting to see my weather map change! -Jeeem-

Mega thunderstorms in the area! I love thunderstorms but these are lethal. Thought I'd post the current accuweather map so you can see all of them heading right for New Hampshire. Gonna stay offline tonight lest I get the power surge of a lifetime. -Jeeem-