Philosophy my father taught me while I was growing up.
It's a lie.
Words do hurt. Words plus actions hurt even worse.
Later in life I was told, "Nobody makes you feel anything....you make the choice to feel that way."
Bullshit.
Some of these philosophies appear to be designed for people incapable of caring. Robots who are programed to be strong, unfeeling and uncaring. I feel I'm stronger than most, based on my experiences in life....BUT, I still care, I still trust, I still want people to like me. When I give that up, I'll die.
It's not realistic really, but I would love it if everybody could just get along. I'd love it if everyone could speak kindly to one another and everybody could trust and have understanding for one another. It would be great if there were no such thing as resentment. If people could smile more.
Forgive and/or forget.
It is my experience that some people are inherently cruel. I used to feel angry with them and would end up wanting to put them in their place (revenge) but finally (I think) I'm beginning to feel sorry for them.
In the last couple of years I've felt myself hurtling towards a desire for inner peace. Many of the things that I do or that I'm planning to do are part of this plan. Call it old age or call it a new beginning, I am just starting to realize that we're all in this world together and life is painfully short.
I will have to change a lot of my old habits. I will have to let go of some of my protective mechanisms. I will have to re-route my old schemas. I will have to learn more tolerance and acceptance.
This ain't gonna be easy.
-Jeeem-
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