Saturday, September 28, 2002

Weird chinese herbal medicine stuff


Annie Charmaine is at it again. Anne always has a way of stirring up the Asian side of my brain and I think she does it on purpose.

In my lifetime, I have been exposed to weird chinese herbal medicine stuff, four times.

The first was at my Karate dojo, in El Paso, Texas. I was studying judo at the time and my friend Oren, was sick, sitting on the couch in the dojo, watching us work out. My instructor Ty Hayashi (yeah, I know....he was Japanese) pulled Oren aside, telling him to go upstairs and he would mix him a concoction that would cure him. Ty told us all to take a break and I followed Oren upstairs to watch.

Ty mixed Oren the most GOD AWFUL looking mess in a drinking glass that I had ever seen. It smelled like a cross between rancid potatoes and a wet ashtray. Oren had to hold his nose to drink the mess. An hour later Oren swore he not only felt better, he felt the best he'd felt in years. You would have had to catch me first.

The second time was when I was married and lived in Virginia. My wife worked for a Chinese restaurant and had been feeling ill one day. The owners took her out back and poured her a cup full of a noxious mixture from a large container they had pulled out from behind a table. She never drank it, refusing politely, but later telling me what it looked and smelled like. I didn't blame her. You would have had to catch me first.

The third time was when I was in China. I had been eating at a favorite little Chinese dive on a side street near my hotel in Beijing and while eating, I eyed the huge, glass bottles that contained the nastiest looking crap I'd ever seen, wondering what the hell it was and who would be crazy enough to consume it. I never saw them delve into one of those containers while I was there.

Now I'm hearing about it from Annie.

Mouse fetus drowned in Brandy, with ginseng and herbs. Oh yum.

You would have had to catch me first.

-Jeeem-

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