Friday, December 14, 2001

Okay, I've been quiet lately . . . I just can't drag myself to post anything here unless I really have something that I feel is worthwhile to say . .

As most of my incalculable fans can attest to, I work in an environment that is centered in confidentiality. We are goverened by federal law. Strict federal law. So what? you say . . . well, shall I say I do not fancy a law suit in writing about something, . . . . .hypothetical let us say . . . . that would er, uh, constitute a roman a clef of sorts.

Met a guy today who was a mirror image of me when I was in my heyday. Complete with a six foot two-by-four on his shoulder. He will leave tomorrow. I will miss him. We had a struggle this week and I cannot determine yet who struggled the most, but a connection was made and I can only hope that I got through that tough exterior of his.

It was scary to re-live the pain of growing up in severe abuse and to see the tears of true feeling and emotion, tears he never would have shown anyone else beyond the interior of my office. I will miss him. There is a message here somewhere and I think it was in the good work I am capable of doing when I get motivated. This guy was a challenge.

I was not motivated to return to a full client load when we started up again. I even made the comment, "I'm just not into this." I have a tough job. I meet resistance, denial, hatred, obnoxiousness, conning, manipulation, lies, spite, immaturity, tears, pain, depression, fear and mental illness every week. This week brought me back into perspective with why I am in this field in the first place.

The typical response is, "Somebody's got to do it."

Well, got news for you. Very few do and the ones who do, usually don't last. This week I helped someone. What I got was some tears, some trust, a smile, a handshake and, "Thank you Jim." That's worth it for me. . . . . -Jeeem-


Web Analytics