Tuesday, March 22, 2005

One of the first things we learn in life is we are responsible for our actions...unless of course you are a celebrity.

Martha Stewart, inmate 55170-054, recently released from the Alderson Federal Women's prison in West Virginia after her whopping five months incarceration, is now free again to unleash more of her insults and mistreatment upon the American public.

It doesn't take much research to uncover the fact that Stewart has a gleaming reputation as a royal bitch.

Her statement upon release from federal prison:

"The experience of the last five months in Alderson, West Virginia has been life altering and life affirming. Someday, I hope to have the chance to talk more about all that has happened, the extraordinary people I have met here and all that I have learned. I can tell you now that I feel very fortunate to have had a family that nurtured me, the advantage of an excellent education, and the opportunity to pursue the American dream. You can be sure that I will never forget the friends that I met here, all that they have done to help me over these five months, their children, and the stories they have told me."

Life altering and life affirming?

What sort of namby-pamby horseshit is that?

She goes on to say...

"Right now, as you can imagine, I am thrilled to be returning to my more familiar life. My heart is filled with joy at the prospect of the warm embraces of my family, friends, and colleagues. Certainly, there is no place like home."

"There is no place like home."

Been revisiting the Wizard of Oz in the Alderson rec room Martha?

Personally, I was hoping she would buy a good solid sentence of about twelve to twenty years without parole, but then...that's the American justice system for ya.

I have a friend back home who is doing better than five years for growing ganja. He's a wonderful guy with tons of friends, has no prior record, and to my knowledge never insulted another human being on earth. Upon his release, his life will be all but ruined. I sincerely doubt he'll be calling his experience, "Life altering and life affirming."

Five months?


Karma's gonna get ya Martha babe!


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