Monday, August 18, 2003

A Beautiful Mind

I wish I could have posted a picture here but with some of my cancelations (bank account, internet service, et cetera) I don't seem to have that ability any longer. No problem as even if I did, once I cancel earthlink I'll lose most of the photo's on this blog anyway.

I've intended to do up a blog article on Chris Allen for a while, but the way life is sometimes, things seem to always get in the way.

Chris Allen, a.k.a. Zebulon Mysterioso, is the subject of my blog today, quite possibly one of the last blog entries that I will be able to put together before I leave for China, eight days from now.

As many of you know by now, without me getting into one of my yada, yada sessions life has been tough on many dimensions, most of them created by me in the first place. But, in all my travels and my run-in's with others through my life, I am one who does not easily trust and certainly approaches friendships and relationships in a cautionary way.

One of my biggest beefs in life has been the issue of machismo or macho behavior, which except for the purer Latino version which carries a bit of pride and culture with it, is just a bunch of bullshit to me. In this world, at times, being a man I have sought out friendships with other men, only to find the majority of them living in a dream world made up of macho bullshit, unable to connect on a deeper, more philosophical level with me.

There have been few exceptions in my life regarding this topic and much of my life, at some point after I became sober at age 38, I began heading in a direction away from that macho attitude (I call it avoidance) searching for a deeper connection in life. I've occasionally run across other men who are beyond the fake bullshit and who know how to connect on a deeper level, but either I wasn't at that stage of my life yet or they disappeared or moved, severing my connection.

Chris is one of the few exceptions. A younger gentleman than my elderly self, and living in a violence ridden city in Northern Ireland, one we've all seen plastered across headlines through our years growing up, no matter where on earth - Belfast.

Go figure.

It is here, online, that I met Chris. Some have said that online relationships/friendships are not true or real, but they are to me. Safe? Perhaps, but all the same very real and very important to me.

Our conversations over the past year(s) have always left me thinking and often have changed my course of values and morals in life, based on his reasoning. That is why I have titled this blog, "A Beautiful Mind," because Chris has one. He is a brilliant gentleman in my book and my life is richer for having met him. It has been nothing but pleasure talking with Chris and seeing life through his eyes via his well chosen words.

I've always desired to have a male friend that was beyond that macho attitude and narrow-mindedness that I have seen so often and I found that in my friendship with Chris. I've discovered that age really doesn't matter and I have quite honestly learned a lot from Chris through our written conversations. He's a traveler like myself, with wanderlust in his blood and he understands my pursuits, which is so purely evident in his words.

So, without going on too long here, I tip my hat to you Chris, my friend on the other side of the Atlantic ocean and I thank you for your friendship, no matter that we've never met. Connections can come in many forms on this earth and I'll take what I can get......thank you.

No doubt we'll meet one day my friend, as previously mentioned, perhaps in a tea house in China, sipping Longjing or Emperors tea, or in a small cafe in Venice, getting chatty as the caffeine laden expresso begins to flow in our veins and catching up in person for all the years at a distance.

Thank you my friend, for being there.



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